The Gaslighting of Marble
As a designer I cannot count how many times I have been told by clients “I’m scared to do marble!” I saw a meme last week on IG that said something to the effect of “Everyone in Italy is not worried about wine stains on their marble” and it made me laugh. Marble has the reputation of being delicate, dainty, super difficult and expensive beyond belief. Now some of this is a tiny bit true (there are unbelievably expensive marbles, yes – they can stain, yes) but look at any bistro in Paris. Floors, stairs, sinks and mantles of old homes the world over.
Marble.
Marble.
Marble.
Yes, it has marks. Yes, it may have some stains. If you leave a red wine glass with wine under the foot for hours on end in one spot will it leave a ring? You bet it will. But there is a reason marble has been used for thousands of years as a building material – it’s natural, it’s beautiful and it IS durable! A lot of your decision making about using it should be based on your own personality type – how messy you are, how ok you are with imperfections and what will/ will not make you nuts. You don’t want to spend money on countertops and then be regretful you did or did not do something due to misinformation, fear or being honest with yourself.
I am going to go into this much more in my next book, but this is a little warmup for that, as I really feel like marble gets such a bad rap and that rumor needs to END. So, here are my two cents as someone who has created so many kitchens over the last 16 years and lived in a few myself:
Patina is Beautiful
Marble is relatively porous but as long as you wipe things up and don’t let them sit, it will continue to look beautiful for years. Sure there will be some etching, scratching and maybe some staining- but I like to look at it as patina, not “damage”. All natural materials will show age- wood, stone, metal. It’s part of what makes it beautiful and rich.
Manmade Materials Can’t Really Compare
Sure, quartz is almost bulletproof, and in some spots that is exactly what you should use (kids bathrooms, basement areas – hard-working spots that are hard to keep clean because you aren’t in them everyday or they get real abuse from the littles). We use it ALL the time – it’s getting better and better looking – and it can make for a gorgeous space. However, if you LOVE the look of real marble, it will never compare. Sorry. I have had several clients say their biggest regret was not doing real marble in their kitchens out of fear. If you don’t have strong feelings about marble, then go with quartz! But if you truly love the natural flow, veining and feel of marble – you won’t be fooled.
Quartzite is NOT Indestructible
For a while I felt like stone yards were pushing quartzite (a natural stone- I know it’s confusing) as “the look of marble with the durability of granite. This is not true. Some types are harder than others but not all are the same (I had two kitchens need all their brand new quartzite counters ripped out and replaced because they were staining SO easily – easier than marble!) So just beware, these are NOT quartz!
Not All Granite is Ugly
When people think of granite they think of spotted, brown and black 90’s kitchens. But there are some varieties of granite that are really pretty- in my kitchen facelift I used honed Jurassic Grey (also called Silver Grey) and it looked just like soapstone. That said, honing it made it very easy to see stains on it (oil or water would turn the grey black, and while the water faded quickly – the oil not so much). So not even granite is impossible to stain! I also like using leathered Absolute Black.
You Can Seal Marble
There are some new sealers that are truly incredible you can apply to marble to make it insanely durable. They are pricey, but if you are really anxious about staining it may be worth the peace of mind. Check into how often they need to be redone though so you have a plan!
Not All Marble is Incredibly Expensive
Some Carrara marbles are quite a bit cheaper than quartz! Just look for the perfect one as there are SO many varieties out there! And if you need only a smaller piece for a vanity let’s say, ask about available remnants.
Honed Vs. Polished
I much prefer honed- not only for a softer look, but because it shows less wear and tear. Some anti-staining applications only work on polished marble though, so if you want to do one of those, ask first!
What do you guys think? Does marble get a bad rap or have you had bad experiences with it?
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Thank you for this post!. I used honed Statuario marble for my kitchen remodel 10 years ago. People thought I was crazy at the time since everyone was still using granite. My marble still looks good, a few small oil marks, etching, and a few tiny chips Does it look brand new, no, but then you only see the flaws if you examine it closely. It doesn’t stain unless you let something sit on it a long time (like days). It’s not perfect, but no quartz comes close to capturing the natural pattern and feel of marble. Every piece is like a one-of-a-kind piece of art. I feel like white marble-like quartz is overused, and it all looks similar. In a few years people are going to tire of that look, whereas natural marble is timeless and has been used for centuries. I have marble countertops in all of my bathrooms too, except the kids where I used quartz!
We’ve had honed marble in our last two kitchens (spanning 20 years) and wouldn’t have anything else. We also have it on our bathroom countertops. We’ve never had a problem with staining. I did drop a can on the edge one time and it chieds off the edge but our house was built in the 1700’s so I just count it as authentic patina.
I have honed Danny marble in my kitchen. After 7 years it still looks great. No stains, but lots of etching visible in certain light. The first few etchings were the hardest, but as more were added over the years, the marble definitely developed patina. Squeezing limes for margaritas is the worst culprit! I learned my lesson and now just put a dish towel down on my work area when using lemons or limes. Even with all of the improvements in the look of quartz, you can’t really get the true look and feel of marble.
I agonized over this in our recent home purchase/renovation but I’m so glad I went with Quartz. I managed to find one at First Class Marble & Granite in MA that I love. I hated 95% of the quartz options because they really look like fake marble. I did a honed marble picket backsplash and it’s been fine.
I satisfied the marble craving by putting Vermont Danby in a dry bar area we have.
With a four and a half year old and a husband who leaves drops of coffee, creamer, drinks, whatever he seems to be pouring – if I had put in marble countertops I would have lost my mind already. The quartz has held up perfectly so far.
I have used marble in FIVE different applications and ALL were major, major fails. On not one but TWO bathroom counters using honed marble, soap stained them leaving behind gross gray blobbyness. Yes, SOAP. As in a little clear liquid soap lands on the counter and isn’t instantly wiped up – you have a stain. Over years, it now looks so, so gross. Again, on TWO different types of marble on two different bath countertops. I also used it on a shower bench. My kids spilled some shampoo that didn’t get wiped up for maybe 10 hours? And now for YEARS we’ve had a stain that looks like a dog took a wee on the bench b the shampoo was yellow. I made the mistake of a polished kitchen island in marble. The “patina” basically means that it looks like a preschooler did cup art all over it (and I’m not someone who is picky about things aging – I have live brass faucets for goodness sake). So I had the island honed & yes, SEALED. And legit EVERYTHING stains it. Nightmare. Then on a shower threshold, there is a gross stain where the shower door sits, bc any soap scum stains the marble. And even if you wipe up immediately, over time there is buildup just because of where the door lands. Soapstone was easier. Yes, soapstone, the one you have to rub BABY OIL ON. That was less maintenance and looks better than any of my marble years later. So if we want to talk about gaslighting …
I have quartzite and had the fabricator save the cutout for the sink. That gives me a great place next to the stove for hot pans or casseroles. 8 months in, not a stain or a chip. Love it. And everyone thinks it is marble.
I’ve had – not great – experiences with marble. Polished island in kitchen was a major mistake. 10 years in and “patina” (those quotes are heavily sarcastic) is ugly af, with etched rings etc. everywhere. But bc I love marble “look” so much, when I did bathroom counters I used honed marble. But those BOTH got horribly stained by handsoap. Just people squirting handsoap, not getting all of it on their hand, not instantly wiping down counter, and now there’s big dark globby stains everywhere. So yeah. Not having learned my lesson I used it on a shower bench as well. And … once again, a single spill of soap by kiddos that went uncleaned for 10 hours left a big, dark blotch. I have tried everything to clean these stains with no luck at all. And they are stains from SOAP. Not even colorful soap! It was clear soap, and all different stupid soaps. So yeah. I’m outie, marble, and good luck to the rest of you. But if anyone has any brain waves about how to clean SOAP out of marble – i’m all ears.
We had polished Calacutta Gold marble in our kitchen for 12 years. Nothing is as beautiful as natural stone. I expected the etching, however my problem was that it was soft. If you accidentally banged a pot or bottle against it there would be chipping along the edge. Life is too short to worry about that with a family living in the house. We changed to Taj Mahal quartzite leathered and honed and we are much happier.
Good post – I have imperial dandy honed marble which was treated with dry treat and it seemed to work well. Vermont Quarries used to have instructions on their web site to remove etches. They have removed it but you can still find it on youtube . In September 2022, I installed a version of calcutta in a new kitchen (replacing quartzite) and it seemed to etch more easily than the Danby I had. I made the decision to use More Anti-etch (installed in Feb 2023) which is priced per square foot and quite expensive (~100/sq ft). The process involves removing all plumbing, etc, sanding down and they put a protective layer on the marble with a special light. It is guaranteed for 10 years. I will admit that it does change the finish a bit but some people may not notice the difference. I will say I am not running after someone with a glass of red wine panicked that they will leave a stain any longer so there is a sense of relief. There is also a film that can be put on called tuffskin. Nicola M of Nicola Homes in Maine recently posted it on her Instagram (and saved a reel)….it has a similar guarantee but is a different process. I think they are worth looking at if you are worried about etching. I do love the look the marble!
We have had marble in all of our kitchens and my biggest advice is: HONE IT. SPEND THE MONEY AND HONE IT. I had polished in my first kitchen and it was a mistake. Shows a lot of etching. Honing the marble makes it matte and you really only need to worry about a real stain – NOT etching which is essentially when the finish comes off the top due to chemical reaction of a spill.
I love marble. There is no replication. Just do it.
I researched and put honed Vermont Danby marble in my last kitchen and it held up really well. Fresh stains came out easily with a baking soda poultice. I inherited polished Carrera marble in my current kitchen and have not been as happy. We recently had it changed from polished to honed, and resealed. Even with the fresh sealing it is staining much more quickly than the Vermont marble. We also inherited marble countertops in all the bathrooms and the ones in the former owners’ kids baths have awful rust stains around the faucet handles that cannot be removed. Bottom line: use Vermont marble in kitchen, powder room, and master bath and marble lookalike Caesarstone everywhere else!
Ive had honed Carrara marble in my primary bath for 16 years and love it. It does have some marks, but I would use it again in a heartbeat. I have honed absolute black granite in my kitchen and it has held up very well. If ever changed it, I would do honed Danby marble. I love the look of marble and wanted dark counters years ago or would have put in marble.
Thank you so much Erin for this post. We are currently in the very early stages of getting going on a remodel of our home. I do have one question…what about oil stains? I have a marble tray and it got a stain from an olive oil bottle. I purchased some pricey stain remover but it didn’t take all of it out. I probably didn’t see it early enough so maybe that’s why. Or maybe it’s the quality of the marble??
I am building a new house and have been told multiple times that I don’t want marble in my kitchen. I found a granite that I am happy with (Viscount White) however I really wanted marble! I wish that I had seen this post 6 months ago! Lol! Love your style! Thanks for everything you post. Always my first go to!
Fabulous post and so timely, thanks Erin!
I have a client who is using marble for countertops but is on the fence about sealers. She had a sample, supplied by her interior designer, that made the marble look like plastic. I think a follow up post on sealers would be *chef’s kiss*
Great post – have had marble in our bathroom for 17 years. It’s not perfect any longer but beautiful and shows depth. Moreover, so glad you raise the topic of patina. Sometimes people renovate too often – it’s expensive, disruptive, and not great for the environment to turn over our homes so often.
We need an 11 foot slab of marble for our kitchen island. Does anyone know a vendor that has slabs that big? Or other solution? thanks!
Thank you for writing this post on marble. I think fear is what holds us back when making design decisions and achieving our vision of success. I’m an executive coach, not an interior designer, but I have a passion for interior design. The fear of imperfections with marble hold us back from using it. Household practices and preventative steps can help preserve marble as you mentioned. I think doing what you want to do when designing is key. I learned this when choosing white paint color, using marble and choosing grout colors. I have learned to choose what is beautiful to my eye and not play into the fears from others.
I used honed Royal Danby marble in my kitchen renovation (and a remnant for my bathroom) and absolutely love it. Yes, lemon will etch it but is has a lovely look and feel. Plus, I wanted to use a product that came from North America (and Danby is from Vermont, even better!). I would use it again in a heartbeat.
Yeah finally!! A good conversation about perfection and patina! My Olympia White Danby are going in my kitchen soon – I know I will be so glad I chose it. Nothing compares (20 years of Cambria and it’s pretty marked up, stained and cracked. Rather have that in marble – a natural material!
Thx for the post
I think the key is having sufficient information to make an informed decision on what works best for your taste, budget, and lifestyle. The job of stone yards, fabricators, and yes, even designers shouldn’t be to sell homeowners on a particular material, but to give them the tools they need to make the ultimate decision. That said, I’ve done marble in my bathrooms and am comfortable with the etching, etc. I knew I would not feel the same way about kitchen counters with so much more surface area (and expense). I chose Taj Mahal quartzite and do not regret it for one second. It’s beautiful and has been bulletproof.
I love marble! The only thing about some of the man-made materials that would attract me would be the ‘green’ aspect. I am trying to be more environmentally conscious.
I fully agree with you, Erin! We have Carrara throughout our house and I don’t regret it one bit. In our last home, the kitchen counters were a Quartz made to look like Carrara, but really it just looked so sterile and stark. After that, I said never again! Marble all the way.
We have honed absolute black granite on our perimeter and honed Danby marble on our island. I absolutely love it and after visiting the stone yard there was no way we could go with quartz. I did a lot of research on the Danby marble before we used it and saying that it was less pourous than a Carrara. I love it just so much. It’s been a few years. You’ll never get the look or feel of the real thing with something man made. I know there’s a time/place for it but I really feel like quartz is going to be the Formica of our time.
Our marble sadly is horribly etched and when the light pours into the kitchen, you see every ring and etching mark. I personally feel like they always looks dirty : ( You mention really great sealers – could you give some recommendations? We had the counters treated when we first moved in, and they looked good for a week. Not sure if it’s the type of marble we have – I would upload a picture but I don’t think there’s a way to do so!
I have 20 yr old Carrara marble countertops that still look great, and I cook a lot and I don’t clean obsessively. I’ve had them lightly re-honed and resealed a few times. The biggest stainers you want to get off asap: curry powder/turmeric/saffron and Sharpie marker. I have sealed leathered black granite counters in my vacation home. I love the look, but the slightest amount of meal prep/cooking requires full cleaning as grease, crumbs, everything shows…
I went for marble in our kitchen reno 7 years ago and don’t regret it. I would have regretted going with quartzite instead out of fear. We had the marble professionally sealed, and I’ve also done it myself 2x to top it off. The worst offender is lemon juice. It etches pretty much immediately. Do not leave margarita glasses out all night on it – lesson learned. It also dents pretty easily and I put a towel around the sink when I’m cleaning heavy pots. But ultimately we wanted the European look in our kitchen and the etching and dents and stains all contribute to that well used, well loved kitchen look . Would not change a thing.
I have quartzite and have loved it, although it has etched considerably. When I’ve
spoken
to the people where I purchased it – they’ve told me that the quartzite that I have
is the same as marble. Can this be true? I believe I’ve also read that on Houzz.
Also, wondering how to have it sealed and if it’s too late after 3 years?
Agree with all of this. Also want to add that you can set hot pans on marble. You can’t do that with quartz.
Gaslighting is not the correct word to use in this instance.
I love marble and have really come to dislike quartz because it feels so faux. Yet all my clients want it and are so afraid of marble so I end up specifying it often. I am going to save this post and share it with my clients. I always explain it like Quartz is the bologna of slabs and marble is a steak – both are meat but they are not the same.
Our kitchen badly needs to be remodeled but we haven’t done it yet for one reason or another (cost, disruption, mess, Covid, etc.). The one thing I have been insistent on as I have imagined it is marble countertops, for exactly the reasons Erin outlines. Parisian bakeries, Italian coffee bars, fancy hotels all use it because of the luxe appearance and patina. Every real thing in life – including the owners of this house and the Velveteen Rabbit – has gotten dinged up over time, which doesn’t diminish their value one iota.
Erin – have you (or anyone out there) tried Azerocare? I *think* you can only “use” it for polished marble (and I prefer honed) but it looks almost too good to be true ……
For us, marble ended up being quite a bit more affordable than quartz because we only needed one slab of marble vs. two of quartz! We’ve experienced NO staining so far in 7 months of use. Do have a few small chips, unfortunately, but I’m hoping they can be repaired.
I know it is engineered stone, but has anyone used Neolith as an alternative to Quartz or does it have the same issues (lack of depth, uniform look, etc)? You might convince me to do marble!
Any advice for those of us with quartzite (slab counters & slab backsplash) who can’t afford to rip out and start over? Recommended sealers? Out of curiosity, what did your clients replace it with?
I do think that marble gets demonized a lot, which i don’t think it deserves. As an aspiring designer, i think that if you love it and are willing to take care of it, but can also appreciate the beauty of aging, then go for it. I think we’ve gotten to a place where too many people are caught up in perfection, and are not willing to embrace imperfections and beautiful patinas. They want everything to look brand new. For me, i believe things are meant to be used and loved. Yes, you should take care of your countertops, or anything else for that matter, but we also need to live life. I agree with looking at yourself and evaluating your needs, your cooking style, your family, etc. Do what works for you. I personally love marble and think that it is so timeless and beautiful. I would definitely invest in them as i really appreciate things that show age and character, which I think is one thing that marble really has going for it.
…love love love marble…perimeter counters black leathered granite…center island/work place is calacatta marble…5 years in…both still beautiful…