Archive for the ‘ruminations’ Category

Worth Reading…

Monday, October 31st, 2011

No, not the latest gossip about Kim and her shameless sham of a marriage that didn’t last as long as many of my pedicures, but rather the eulogy for Steve Jobs by his sister. The last bit gave me chills. See, I’ve been having a tough month. Actually, a tough couple months.  I’ve been stressed, tired, fearful and doubting for reasons that are not worth the amount of energy I put into them.  I have had a hard time trusting my gut, believing there are reasons for everything and looking at life in a positive way.  It’s a shame, and it needs to stop and I hope that in the next month or two I can change my behavior to mirror the truly wonderful life I have.  And every little thing I see, read or experience that helps me focus on that goal a bit more clearly is worth passing along to you.  Being reminded that our days are not guaranteed and that every moment should count is something that I keep hearing from stories about Steve Jobs.  And the fact that someone that created things so marveled at by the world was so marveled himself by what he saw/experience in those final moments is comforting in some way.

From His Perspective: A Quotable Life

Tuesday, October 11th, 2011

A latest in a new series by my husband, who happens to be a great writer and one heck of a motivator!

From my last post I had two big take-a-ways. First, a lot of people liked it, which is very flattering. Second, others pointed out that while they liked it, it was rather cliché.

I thought about that and they were right. Just about everything I said had been said many times before, by great men and women. Being cliché has a negative connotation, but I am not sure it should. We all need reminding every once in a while about things we already know. Hearing or reading motivational comments is like practice for our mental strength. A basketball player knows how to play the game, but still needs to practice to keep sharp. The same is true for each of us in life.

So here are a few of my favorite quotes that I like to think about and re-read every so often:

“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right” – Henry Ford. One of the most cliché and yet one of my favorite. I am a firm believer in the power of positive thinking.

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” – Anna Quindlen. Much easier said than done, but well worth the effort.

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” – Zig Ziglar. Love it…just start and things will happen. Far too often we over think something so much that it never even gets off the ground. Better known as paralysis by analysis.

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.” – Abraham Lincoln. It is all about how you want to approach life.

“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.” – Walt Disney. It sure is. It is even a blast just trying to do the impossible.

“There are no short cuts to any place worth going.” – Beverly Sills. Something I wish I had learned a long time ago…and I am still learning today. I have learned that the journey can be a lot of fun.

“In times of rapid change, experience could be your worst enemy.” Jean Paul Getty. This is so true in business. When things are moving fast and changing rapidly, you cannot rely on experience alone.

“Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.” – Aldous Huxley. I love this one because we all do this. Ignore facts because we don’t want to deal with them. We need to hit life head on, accept reality, and change what we can.

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” – Mae West. Mae has some great quotes, but this one is her best. As I said last time, you want to be able to look back on your life and say, “Well that was fun.”.

Okay…I could go on forever here. The point is to seek out ways to reinforce what you already know. Become your own life coach. Whether it is taking a few minutes in the morning to read motivational quotes (in my previous job I would write one up on my white board everyday for all to see) or just throwing in a book that motivates you in between novels every once in a while (it can be a book you have read before). Find a way to train. That’s all this is, just training for life.

Deep Thoughts by Andrew Gates

Thursday, September 8th, 2011

I know that I’ve written already this week about “deep thoughts” but I really wanted to share with you one of the most important things in my life- my husband’s uncanny ability to give motivational speeches.  I am not the calm and stable type, but rather the Chicken Little of the relationship constantly screaming that the sky will fall any damn day now and in the meantime, I need to be very, very, very anxious about it.  Andrew, on the other hand, is so level headed- nothing seems to freak him out (except the time Baxter chewed through my bottle of Ambien and had his stomach pumped- he freaked out then).  So here is a great little “get your day started on the right foot” speech courtesy of Mr. Andrew Gates….(perhaps we should have Therapy Thursdays?)  :)

(AG enjoying life to the FULLEST in St. Maarten with our niece )

Erin asked me if I would write a blog post that was similar to one of my “Tony Robbins, things are going to fine, stop crying, you need to think more of yourself, it’s going to be ok, seriously, stop crying” speeches I unleash on her about once a month.

Finally I get to be on her blog. Sweet.

My most recent rant to her was about perspective. Side note: these “speeches” are usually just a verbal outpouring of the internal struggles (and solutions) I have with myself. I get just as much out of saying them as she gets from hearing them…probably more. To provide a little background, I was laid-off about 2 months ago. Not the greatest feeling in the world, but I was prepared for it…the writing was on the wall…and to be honest I wasn’t that far away from putting in my notice.

The internal struggle I had was what to do next. I had been working with some former colleagues on a start-up which I was really excited about. I was also putting a toe in the water in several other, apparently more stable options. At the end of the day I was fortunate enough to have a choice. I went with the start-up. Here is why:

10, 20, 30, years from now…or more…I am going to reflect on my life. I tried to put myself at that point and ask what will I think. I was going to regret not going with the start-up. It was clear. Granted, that didn’t make the choice any less scary, but I knew what I needed to do.

I continued to think about the “Future Me” and what I would think of the present me. And Future Me had a bit of advice. He said that we are living in a home, eating applesauce, wearing diapers and all I have are my memories. Don’t screw them up. Spend time with your friends and family, because those are my favorite memories. Stop spending so much time on the little stuff, you can barely remember that anyway. Travel more, you will love Africa. Take a few chances, but not too many that you look like a moron (and you are approaching that level so be careful). Enjoy your successes and indulgences, you will see that guilt is a waste of time. Do things for others without the need for acknowledgment or reciprocation (you will get both in spades anyway). Be happy for others who are more fortunate than you, help those that aren’t, respect both equally. Do things you normally wouldn’t do every so often, those are some fun memories. It is okay to cook and do the dishes, but make sure you say thank you when someone does for you. When you get here (the future) you don’t want to have settled.

Smart guy. I hear he is handsome too.

We could all benefit from calling our Future Me’s every once in a while. We need that reality check of how most of this won’t matter even a few months from now, much less years. We need to live a little more for the moment.

That doesn’t mean go crazy. It doesn’t mean bounce your last check (ahem! parents and in-laws). It doesn’t mean shun stability and responsibility. It doesn’t mean pack up your shit and move to Nepal. It means to do things you will be happy to look back on. That may mean taking the stable job for some, or going with the start-up for others or even leaving it all behind and going to Nepal for a few. Life isn’t black and white. There is no need for you to be stable or reckless…you can be somewhere in-between. You don’t have to married by 28. You don’t need to have kids before you are 35. You don’t need to have your career all set by the time you are 40. Life is different for everyone and very few of us live up to the expectations we set for ourselves or other set for us (and those that do probably feel unfilled in some way). Take life as it comes, change it as you go, and stop worrying about where you are now…just enjoy that you are here and moving forward. It takes some people a few years, others a life time. We all get there.

You are a fluid and ever-changing person who is at times scared, happy, sad, bored, worried and excited. Perfect…that’s how you are supposed to be. Think about the future, think about what you want to look back on, and then stop thinking about the future so much. Re-live the good times in the past. Learn from the bad ones and move on…they are not you anymore. Forget the really bad ones. They serve no purpose anymore. Realize that life is both what you make of it, but more importantly how you want to approach it. You can get bogged down with your own shit or you cannot. The choice is yours.

SEE? He’s so good.  I think I really lucked out by clicking on his profile (thanks Match.com). And what a Dad he is going to be to our future children. I am very lucky.

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