Archive for the ‘ruminations’ Category

From His Perspective: Breaking the Mold

Thursday, March 29th, 2012

I am on my way to Charleston, SC today so I thought it was the perfect day to post a new essay from my better half.  It’s been a tough month for us and I think Andrew sums up his view on such a challenge perfectly.  Anyone looking for a job will probably relate….

(a relevant book, and an Andrew favorite)

It has been a little bit since I had the inspiration to write a post. That has mostly to do with the fact that I have been hot on the trail of finding my next career opportunity. It appears (fingers crossed) that this dilemma is coming close to a close soon. It has been an interesting few months looking for a job/career/passion. I have learned a few things that I thought I would share with you all. This is not the typical “here’s what Erin and I are talking about” post. No relationship advice forthcoming. But I hope that the following you will still find interesting and helpful.

Early on in my career I had no idea what I wanted to do. I knew I liked talking to people, I had a variety of interests and an entrepreneurial streak. I didn’t have the feeling that I wanted to be in real estate, finance, hospitality, tech, web, etc. I liked all of those and a few others as well. I got excited by the opportunity. If I thought something was a good idea, then I could get passionate about it. So I tried a lot of different things.

I think this experience is invaluable. They say variety is the spice of life, but not everyone in corporate America agrees. Experience has its place to be sure, but do you really want a team of people all with the same backgrounds? Doesn’t that make new and innovative thinking harder? Sometimes a lack of experience in an industry allows for a much freer thought process. I can’t tell you how many times I have been told by an “experienced” business development person that a particular company would not be interested in our service…they had tried before and it didn’t work. Guess what. Things change. New people take over, strategic objectives change, and companies pivot. Not to mention that if you catch someone on an off day it might not be your product/service it might be the person you are talking to has his/her mind somewhere else. This is truly where ignorance can be bliss. I know. I have been told that so-and-so company would never be interested only to turn around and get an appointment the next day.

More and more companies are valuing diversity because getting different perspectives is actually beneficial, but for some reason most are limiting that to race, sex, religion, etc. My advice? Hire good people. They are much harder to find than experienced ones. You can teach the industry not integrity and talent. And with the pace of the world today is experience from 3 years ago really that relevant any more? Depending on your industry…probably not.

From all that I have read, people are starting to think this way. So my advice in this post is to keep your eyes open. A career should be not only about climbing up the corporate ladder, but about self-exploration. If you are debating two opportunities perhaps the one least familiar and less relevant will propel you further in the end. Allow yourself to learn from your experience, but don’t let it put borders on your thought process. Wherever I land I am going to be doing something a little different from what I have been doing. The companies I am talking to see that as an advantage for them. They encourage new thinking, mold breaking, and personal development. They will get more from me because of that and I will get more from them. Seems like a perfect scenario to me.

Train of Thought…

Monday, February 13th, 2012

I got up late after watching the Grammy’s last night and before I can get my coffee down I wanted to get out some thoughts regarding last night as well as the death of Whitney.

If you are one of my contemporaries (early/mid 30′s) you probably stumbled through those tough middle school years to the soundtrack of Whitney Houston.  This girl certainly did.  I had a purple boom box that kept me company those days and nights in my room when I felt like a bit of an outsider.  And one of my most favorite cassette tape covers was this one:

This picture is burned into my memory and seeing it again brings me right back to times I’d dance by myself and sing along to “So Emotional” and “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” while wearing my Hypercolors t-shirts and neon leggings and ugly headbands.  I thought she was so beautiful, and so talented and probably had no idea what it was like to not have boys want to dance with you. But she sang it like she did.  And then came The Bodyguard, which is probably one of my favorite movies still to this day. And he will kill me for telling you this, but one of Andrew’s too. Whenever it’s on TV he never makes me change it, but rather settles in and prepares for what always ends in a not-so-magical duet of “I Will Always Love You” by us in our living room in front of the dogs.

That song. Oh that song.

It’s the saddest song I’ve ever heard. And one of the most beautiful and powerful. Andrew and I actually joked that it should be our first dance song because (again, sorry to put you in the hot seat honey) he is OBSESSED with that song. It’s always on his iPod and he tears up every single time he hears it and belts it out like he is on stage. It used to make me laugh and poke fun at him.  But last night, as I listened to Jennifer Hudson’s tribute, I had tears streaming down my face too. It’s so sad that we are losing so many talents, and so many important figures in our lives, to addiction. Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston were two of the most important artists of my childhood.  Seeing Paul McCartney sitting in the audience last night made me think- that’s who people my Mom’s age loved growing up, and sadly, I won’t have the same experience of seeing my musical idols alive when I have grown children.  I don’t have  an answer, obviously, I just am so saddened by this.

I wasn’t 100% on board with Jennifer Hudson singing the tribute last night- I thought Christina Aguilera or Mariah Carey should have done it. I WAS SO WRONG. Jennifer delivered a nuanced, lovely rendition of that chill inducing song in which she didn’t try to BE Whitney, she honored her. Seriously amazing (and she looked incredible to boot). Can you even imagine the pressure of having to do that, and on such short notice??? As for Adele- I mean, what can I say? Who doesn’t love her? And isn’t she made so much more charming by that adorable accent and honest to goodness gratitude and surprise?  She’s the kind of artist that you are both stunned to silence by from her raw talent (I was lucky enough to see her live before her surgery) and yet know she’d be the most fun girl to have a drink with?? No lights, no crazy get-ups, no dance moves the render you unable to sing live- just a voice, a humble attitude and a sense of pure enjoyment. I hope more music trends this way.  Adios Gaga.

P.S. I can’t even deal with these two and their perfection. Seriously. Not human. I feel like a rip in the space time continuum should appear whenever they are in the same place.

And last but not least, I am SO SO SO disappointed in the Grammy producers for not only letting Chris Brown perform- but letting him perform TWICE and rewarding him with a Grammy. How do we live in a country in which this happens?  Not only is he disgusting, but I can’t help but feel like he is the new Bobby Brown, so on an evening such as last night I think it was tasteless to allow him to have so much air time.  I hope all of you shut off the TV after Jennifer sang and HE came back on a way to signal to producers that enough is ENOUGH.  You shouldn’t be able to beat the crap out of a woman and get your career back. You just shouldn’t.

EOS, out.

My Existential Whole Foods Trip

Friday, January 13th, 2012

There are a few things that instantly right my world when it goes all crazy and sideways-like and I’m feeling the sads deep down to my toes- half a Klonopin and a glass of pinot grigio (kids, don’t try this at home) or a trip to Whole Foods on a weekday afternoon.  Contractictory, I know, but equally calming all the same. I specify weekday afternoon because on a Sunday morning Whole Foods is as relaxing as an IRS audit. But on a rainy Thursday like yesterday, when I was in my car running errands and found myself just steering towards the Cambridge location I knew I needed a little Whole Foods therapy.  Something about coming up the escalator to the smell of organic coffee and sight of neatly stacked, perfectly grown fruits and veggies gives me hope and lowers my blood pressure.  In this clean, overpriced mecca of well-being I can focus on something entirely different from my current worries and stresses- and instead plot the path to my new green, vegan, wholesome lifestyle free of all worldly pressures and chock full of omega-3′s and paraben-free lotions. Hooray!

As I stroll the aisles I start with picking up things like fresh veggies for dinner and/or juicing (I am admittedly into the whole green juice thing, so GOOP of me, I know) but then as I go deeper and deeper I get this vision in my head of a better me, a cleaner, cooler and healthier me free of stress and full of namaste and then all bets go out the window. I’m breathing easier and soothed by the beautiful packaging that most good for you and the earth items come in. I find myself buying 17 bottles of vitamins I am clearly deficient in and wondering how I ever lived without having ground flaxseed and agave nectar in my pantry.  As I turn into the beauty products aisle I curse sulfates and just KNOW that this tee tree oil shampoo is going to restore my locks to magnificent glory.  I even find myself rubbing Dr. Hauschka $40 rose cream on my face and searching for a reflective surface to admire my glowy skin in (the fish counter perhaps?)  Who needs to worry about incompetent home furnishings vendors and fabric cuttings when I could be plotting a sustainable garden and aligning my chakras? I mean, really?!

I notice other people- hipster types, Patagonia wearing hikers, slender ladies in yoga gear and think “I could be like them. None of them look stressed out! The secret MUST be in here!” so into my cart go non-toxic cleaning supplies that I just know will make me a better person (and piss off my husband because they “don’t f*cking work, Erin!!!!”) and various teas for mood lifting, sleeping and liver cleansing (also in the cart, organic wines for the re-toxing process, but with much less guilt).  By the time I get to the checkout I am practically skipping with the glee over what all these wonderful goods are going to do for me and my life.  $139 of goodness, GULP, but can you really put a price on your health and well-being? I think not!

Toting my purchases back to my car I am shocked back into reality by 4 messages on my phone, an empty gas tank and gloomy January sky.  By the time I reach the first stoplight I have my arm elbow deep into a box pf peanut butter Puffins and cursing at the idiot in front of me trying to turn left from the right hand lane. I am comforted by the words of my friend Caroline, another Whole Foods worshipper, who tells me that “Puffins don’t go straight to your thighs, they go straight to your SOUL”, until I feel like the roof of my mouth is raw and that perhaps I overdosed on gluten-free goodness. I have managed to ruin my Whole Foods buzz in a matter of minutes! I’m sure that makeup-free-yet-gorgeous mom I saw in the aisles isn’t licking Puffin crumbs off her fingers in her car. And therein lies the answer to my quest to be calmer, happier and healthier.

To stop trying to be someone else. Stop comparing.

I am many people- a prep, artist, nerd, cheerleader, hippie and athlete. While trying to define myself as one of those seems neater and cleaner, it’s not really possible, and frankly, would probably be boring.  I don’t have room for a garden. I like refined sugar. I wear leopard high heels and swear. Sometimes I forget to recycle. Forcing myself to fit into the mold of what I deem to be the “stress-free hippie lifestyle” would be unnatural for me. But sometimes it’s frustrating, it feels like I’m not sure who “I” am or that who I am is not good enough. I venture into a place like Whole Foods and feel like I could pick one of those qualities and run with it. But it never sticks. What does stick are my quirks, my hypocritical tendencies, my wackiness and my honesty. And perhaps that’s better than any 20-day super cleanse could ever make me.

Related Posts with Thumbnails