Finding My Footing As A Mother

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It’s been a little over seven months that Henry has been in our lives and I continue to be amazed not only with every little thing he does, but how bringing him into our lives has changed us in the most profound ways. To say I was jaded and skeptical about just how dramatically a baby can shift your perspective on life is an understatement. I figured that I’d change, of course, but not that I’d end up one of these people who was all “ I wasn’t really living fully until I became a mom”. That phrase would send me into a fit of exaggerated eye rolls two years ago. How cliché.

But guess what? I wasn’t really living fully until I became a mom. Yup, it happened. Now I’m rolling my eyes at myself.

Now, this in no way means you need to have a child in order to live fully. Not at all. It’s just that for me, it took having Henry to get my head out of my ass and be able to live in the moment and appreciate the amazing blessings I have- a loving family, good health, a beautiful home, a caring nanny for Henry, a job I love and a fully stocked wine rack (because wine is the fuel on which mommy runs. Also, coffee). I never really realized just how focused I was on the wrong things and how stressed I’d get about total bullshit until I had something BIG jostle me awake to the fact.   For some people it’s another kind of catalyst that does it, for me it was Henry. Of course in the early days of motherhood I feared that I had ruined my perfectly curated life with this screaming, needy, terrifyingly vulnerable baby. But in the last two months Henry has developed into a magical little person whose smile and giggle could potentially save the world (in my eyes, at least). No longer a sleepy lump, he’s giving back, sitting up, discovering the world and developing new skills every second! He’s made me recognize what is truly important by giving me a powerful frame of reference. Is my son happy and healthy? Yes. Ok, great- so am I going to get all upset about a light fixture being backordered AGAIN for another ten weeks? Nope, not that important (although still epically annoying). I have so much more patience and empathy than I did before, which is truly a game changer when it comes to my daily happiness.  The little things like watching tv in bed with Andrew at the end of the day or taking a walk as a family fill me with gratitude, where as before I may have just gone about these kinds of things in a stress fog.

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