Dream Life on Patina Farm

I have long been following Velvet & Linen,  the blog of designers Brooke and Steve Gianetti, and marveled at the process of building  their incredible home in Ojai, California called Patina Farm.  And now it’s  complete and a book!   One that may lead you to dream, like I have,  of a beautiful alternate life full of vintage French wood doors, elegant chicken coops, glass walled showers and baby goats.  Oh, so many baby goats. Let’s go visit the farm….

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My hallucinatory life on Patina Farm begins in this foyer where I welcome my guests in to admire my vintage doors and arching plaster ceilings and overall ridiculously amazing life.

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I spend all my free time (because in this dream I have so much free time) baking pies with the fruit from my own trees and watching Jean George (my personal chef- hey this is a fantasy) whipping up my dinner while I sip wine and laugh, because Jean George is just such a ham.

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Doing dishes in this window would be so much more pleasant. But lets face it, in my dream life I would not be needing to do dishes.

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This is where I’d hang out and binge watch Netflix.  Oh, and read very cerebral books, of course.

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And when I’m bored with that space, I will move into this room to read People magazine in peace.

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Is it time for  my rowboat picnic? Wonderful, I’m famished.

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I’d write my blog here- in front of more incredible vintage doors.  I feel I’d be a better writer here for certain.

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And then I’d retire here to take afternoon naps while I listened to birds chirp and breathe in the scent of fresh lavender wafting through the windows.

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Followed by a long bath here. I mean, really… this is pure design gold.

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And then I’d meander down to the “farm” for some “glarming” (my new term for glamour farming).

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DONKEYS Y’ALL. These would be Henry’s little friends, named Francois and Grenouille (because they are French, obviously. If I could get custom made striped donkey Breton shirts  for them to wear then it would be even better.)

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Oh, and did I mention GOATS. My goal in life is to have baby goats- especially ones like these that look so adorable munching on my perfect kumquat trees.

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Of course my potting shed would be nicer than a lot of peoples kitchens. :)

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And I’d sit here as the sun goes down with some nice wine as I beckon my baby goat nanny to bring the kids (ha!) round for goodnight kisses.

But you really don’t have to embellish on Patina Farm, it is spectacular as it is. And this book is such a wonderful escape! Congrats to Brooke and Steve on a job very well done!

P.S. Dad, if you are reading this I will bring you my copy to see this weekend :)

Photographs by Lisa Romerein courtesy of Gibbs Smith

26 comments

  1. You are such a gifted writer! This was so clever and funny – what a treat to read. Plus I’m going to go order the book now (truly beautiful) and pretend my own 1 and 3 year old are being taken care of by their own goat nanny instead of me hiding in the bathroom to read your post in a moment of solitude.

  2. Wow! Can you write our next book? This was terrific, Erin. Thank you so much for sharing your Patina Farm story with your readers :)
    The donks and goats appreciated be included too…

    xo

    Brooke and Steve

    1. Brooke
      I have your first book – I HAVE to get this one – it looks so gorgeous. You and Steve really do create homes that are enveloping – your Ojai home is so beautiful and calm. I love your style!

    2. OMG thank you Erin for posting this! I went down the rabbit hole on their home build years ago (probably linked from your site?) but then forgot the URL and couldn’t find them anywhere in spite of my frantic googling.

      I love that you feature other designers’ work along with your own beautiful projects. thank you thank for scratching my memory itch!!

      xxoo
      Lauren

      p.s. Brooke and Steve love your work.

    1. Love the way you wrote this, Erin! Sometimes these places/lives really do look too good to be true–you wonder if they were created for photo shoots more than actual living! Even so, I had pre-ordered the book because it’s just so darn GORGEOUS. We can fantasize, right?

  3. What a lovely home and such adorable animals too! I loved your ‘hallucinatory’ monologue! Now, if only I could grow kumquats.

    1. Fun to read and yes to that bath and baby goats. Does the dream come with someone to clean up after the baby goats?

  4. I have never laughed so hard…I especially like your new term “glarming” . I am going to use that one if you don’t mind? I’ll give you creds. I can see comedy screenwriting in your future.

  5. I love fantasy homes. At least, they’re out of my price range for impulse shopping unlike fantasy clothes. The amount of clothing I’ve bought for the life I DON’T lead, boggles the mind. See, if I buy the perfect evening dress, the event will magically appear.
    I’ve stopped doing that.
    Mostly.

  6. Obviously, it’s a beautiful book. Obviously. But I believe it was slightly improved by your narration.

  7. Wow, super clever review! Thanks for that! I randomly bought your book a few weeks ago and became a huge fan…blog, too!! You’re hilarious

  8. I think I married a very funny girl. But one whose dream life left out one pretty important person. ;)

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