Last night I was contently watching the red carpet with Henry asleep on my chest and a glass of red wine in hand. However, I did go to bed about 1/4 of the way through the telecast of the awards because when he konks out, I konk out. :) But I of COURSE have some opinions on the fashion. It was true mixed bag last night with some people who normally kill it making big mistakes and those I expect to show up looking crazy (or those I did not know) strutted in looking amazing!
Kirstan Dunst SLAYED it. Like, how good does she look? Way better than I’ve ever seen her. It’s a lot of boob, but yet looks elegant and not skanky. And the makeup, hair and accessories are so on point. I also LOVED Jenna Dewan-Tatum’s sparkly navy dress with the deep plunge, smoky eye and simple earrings. So gorgeous. Plus POCKETS, y’all.
However, what int he fresh hell was up with Channing’s boy band gone wrong hair???? And the goatee? Which really I have no business knocking since I let Andrew rock a goatee for our WEDDING (ugggghhhh, what was I thinking?) Anyway, I forgive him after seeing his Beyonce lip sync battle. But just this once, Magic Mike. Just this once.
Laverne Cox- NAILED IT. Holy Hollywood, classic glamour. Those emerald earrings made it.
There was TONS of white- Lily James looked ethereal and lovely (but I hated the undone hair- looks like she just woke up). Saoirse Roanan had a similar look that was simple and graceful.
Ok, Alicia Vikander. When I first saw her I thought “it looks like she just baked some (very sexy) muffins and decided to come to the Globes”- and then as I watched her walk down the carpet I started liking it. On her tan,lithe frame it looks cool. On me, it would look like Betty Crocker had a serious break with reality and needed to be carted off to the psych ward.
OK, so Taraji P. Henson looks great in her Stella McCartney (the hair too messy for my taste though)- but did anyone see her posing live on the carpet? It was cringe-worthy. I’m all for confidence, but it made me giggle. It felt like she was trying out for America’s Next Top Model.
Queen Latifah looked awesome in the light blue number- love the beading placement and cut on her. And Emmy Rossum went with old Hollywood glamour in this red column dress and classic diamond necklace. Very pretty- not earth shattering- but pretty. Nothing wrong with that!
Speaking of red dresses- I did like Jennifer Lawrence’s red cut our gown with the big diamond choker/scarf thingy. Her hair and makeup were great and this color is SO good on her (remember the red Calvin Klein dress she wore right when she became famous?) And I ADORED Amy Adam in red- who says red-heads can’t wear red? This dress was so fun on her! One of her best, I think!
Onto the golden girls- literally. Rosie Huntington-Whitley is NOT HUMAN. Look at her! Insanity! You almost can;t look directly at her for fear of going blind, like an eclipse. Brie Larsen shocked me with this choice- I pictured her in something more avant-garde and artsy. I liked the color and concept, I just wish the top was not so droopy. I wanted to reach through the TV and yank the top up for her.
Another big color of the night- marigold yellow. And not surprisingly, on these two women with the perfect skin tone to pull it off. They were a little too close for comfort (I bet J.Lo was hella PISSED). Jenny from the Block also went a little over the top with tanner- but even Andrew said “she actually can pull that dress off!”
Can I PLEASE be Helen Mirren when I’m older? PLEASE? She is so freaking fabulous I can’t stand it. This dress is perfect, as is the hair, necklace, everything (I feel like George in My Best Friend’s Wedding– “Love, the bag, love the shoes, love everything...”) Also, Judith Light was cool as a cucumber in her ivory tux (wish I wish was less wrinkled but I dig the concept for a “woman of a certain age”.
I also liked Jamie Alexander’s green and black ballgown. The top was a TAD too low for me, I was stressed about the strength of her double sided tape, but I liked that it was different. And I have no clue who this Portia Doubleday is but I dig her disco ballgown (see what I did there? Clevvvaaaaahhhh)
Does anyone else feel like Kate Winslet has worn this dress to six other award shows? She looks gorgeous, becasue let’s face it- she is- but this wasn’t very exciting.
What was exciting was Jack and Rose both WINNING!!!!
You both are totes king of the world now.
OK, now to the bad. YAY.
I literally could not contain myself when Amy Schumer stepped onto the carpet. What kind of JEssica McClintock prom nightmare did she snatch this out of? I mean, I LOVE Amy, but come on! She’s on fire right now so you know every designer wanted to dress her and this was her choice? Was it a joke? Maybe it was a joke? One I do not get….
Also in the Holy Disappointment category is Olivia Palermo. I would never have thought she’d be on my worst dressed list as she is one of my fashion idols, but this was a huge misstep for her! So unflattering, so strange, so not elegant. The world is not right today, I feel like we are in a parallel fashion universe.
Following that trend is Kate Hudson. Another person who usually looks great. This is ill fitting, a bad color and reminiscent of 90’s prom. And it kills me to put Leslie Mann, one of my favorite comedic actresses on my shit list too, but this dress was BAD- so baggy, bad color and so not “her”. She normally is one I love on the red carpet too!
More odd choices on kick ass ladies- Cate Blanchett- the luminescent creature that she is- looked silly in this fringe thing. Eeegads! And Jane “Sold My Soul To Look Amazing Forever” Fonda in this ruffled, clown number (but from the neck up- holy hell- so, so good.) I want to know who her plastic surgeon is.
Speaking of eternally youthful, did you guys see that classic Brad Pitt is back??? Like, Brad Pitt from 15 years ago? No more moody scruff! Let’s all celebrate.
This picture is pretty much perfect. #breaktheinternet
Ok, more bad looks.
Felicity Huffman and Bryce Dallas Howard pulled these from the Ice Capades/ Golden Girls playbook. Bryce/ Blanche especially disappointing.
I thought Eva Longoria was pretty awful too- this whole Sunday best meets quinceanera vibe totally unbecoming on her. And she’s SO beautiful! :(
I saw Katy Perry on a best dressed list this morning and was suprised as on camera it looked like she had on a Priscilla Presley wig and cheap mall dress. Really did not like this on her. But did like that she admitted to wearing a Bump It to Ryan Seacrest, so she gets sassy points.
So who did you guys like/ dislike? I know I did not cover everyone- but there are only so many minutes in a morning with a baby/ photoshoot at 10 am! :) Let’s hear your thoughts!