My Maternity Leave Plan
(Note: We are shooting the nursery this week- look for the reveal soon (here’s a sneak peek)!!! Some pieces took a long time to get, hence the late share! But it’s coming, I promise!)
Since this baby could make his debut any day now, I figured I should share this info. A few of you have asked about what my plan is for “maternity leave” (I put that term in quotations because when you own your own business it really is hard to imagine taking an extended time off). I am so glad that my due date (this Sunday) is right before holiday season- it allows me a little more freedom mentally to check out for a bit knowing that most things slow way down between Thanksgiving and New Years. I don’t think I’ve slowed down in eight years and may have forgotten how to do it.
Being your own boss has many, many benefits- making your own schedule is one of the best ones. However, as any entrepreneur knows, this “own schedule” is typically ten times harder and longer than any schedule you ever had working for someone else. My participation in my company not only effects the income I make, but other people who work for me count on it too. So I can’t just take a typical 3-4 month leave. I just can’t. And frankly, I don’t want to. I will adore my son and I know it will be so much harder than I ever imagined to leave him for any extended period of time- but I also LOVE my career and am excited about what I have planned for 2016. So I will attempt to figure this balance out one stumble at a time.
So to start, I will be taking his birth until January 3rd completely off from going into the office. I will check e-mail and chime in when needed on projects, but I have three capable women running things day to day. So I am going to try my best to be super present at home and take in all that drool-y, tiny cuteness while I can. When he is born I will announce it here and then will take about a week off from blogging as well. After that, it’s going to be a little fast and loose. I will be posting as much as I can- ideally 2-3 times week. And I may have help, my longtime project manager/ right arm Lindsey is renovating her house and she will be documenting her kitchen project while I’m out. I’ve also asked our design assistant Allison to chime in when she has some thoughts and fun things to share and may ask some other blogger friends to do some guest posts too. Oh, and Andrew of course. But I love writing here, and I assume I will crave the connection with the design world (and other moms!) One thing I know for sure- I will be doing gift guides- one of my favorite things to do!
Come early January, things will start to go back to normal- albeit, my “new normal”. Who knows how it will go, but I will have full time in-home help then and will be transitioning back to the office (but the best thing- it’s two miles away so I can zip home in five minutes flat to feed or just get a snuggle!) In that regard I am terribly lucky, and I know it. I can try to do it all, but while I am trying, I am sure I will fall on my face many times. And as I have before, I will rely on you readers to help get me back up during the particularly trying times. And I hope that the documentation of this journey is as fun, interesting, poignant and funny for you as I am sure it will be for me.
You guys mean a lot to me, more than you may imagine. Knowing I have this community at my fingertips is so comforting and helpful, especially during big life events. But as I have experienced a few times over the past few months, there are always a few bad apples that sour the pot. Motherhood, especially new motherhood, is a very scary, exciting, unknown journey. And 99% of you have been SO helpful when I have asked for advice- which I really do want! In fact, I pulled those cheetah jammies out of my hospital bag and replaced them with black ones (and some flip flops!). But some people take the opportunity to openly judge, be harsh and make comments that really hurt. Moreso about this topic than any other I’ve ever blogged about. So while I totally welcome advice and tips, I want to ask that everyone remember that first time moms are pretty clueless, emotional and sensitive and to just think twice about the tone and content of the comments.
I feel like I’m walking around with the Jaws music playing while I wait for “the time”. I’m so excited (and scared) for this huge, momentous change. It’s going to be crazy, and I’m glad you’re coming on the ride with me.
XO,
Erin
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You will be just fine! Everyone’s journey is unique, so advice has to be taken with a grain of salt. Henry is adorable and you’ll find that the whole balance thing is “what it is.” Enjoy him and know that there are a thousand other mom bloggers out there in off-brand sweats, who haven’t slept well or showered in a few days. Well, there’s at least one… ;) congrats!
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Best of luck! My husband is a self-employed/small business, creative entrepreneur too (and primary bread winner for our household). Unfortunately we don’t/didn’t have parents or family nearby to help us during our transition into parenthood earlier this year after our daughter was born. I was really nervous about how we were going to manage it alone. God bless my husband because he coordinated his schedule and took 5 full weeks leave so we could bond, I could fully heal (from an unplanned c-section) and he could keep our home in order. He also works from home now as often as possible, and while not always able to be mentally present 100% (because he’s working), it’s nice to have him physically present so our little girl can see and hear him throughout the day. I think the secret was that he entrusted and delegated to the small team of ppl that work for him (maybe men have an easier time “letting go”). I share this because I know you are lucky to have a wonderful family support network nearby, a great team at the office and adoring, loyal readers. I hope to convey the notion: it’ll be ok to disconnect and take time away and I hope you do. The first few weeks will go by in a blur. Cherish every second.
Can’t wait to see your little man, glad you’re taking time off for you and your family. Enjoy it and this holiday season! Wishing you and your family tons of happiness and good health for now and the new year! :)
I just had a baby boy 8 weeks ago. The emotions are crazy and the worst part has been feeling bad when things don’t go perfectly (for me this started with an unplanned csection). Don’t let anyone else get you down or ever mom shame you. Believe me you will be hard on yourself and no one needs to make it harder. All that matters is a healthy thriving baby!!! Good luck. Rest now cause that first month is really the least amount of sleep you will have in your life!
I am just so happy for you guys! Your blog is the only one I consistently read without fail every morning, and I will miss your posts (but selfishly relieved to see your hiatus will be short-lived). SO excited for you getting to spend precious time with your new baby boy. And if you change your mind and need more time with your bundle of joy, your readers will still be here – no pressure! Wishing you all the best!!!
So excited for you, Erin! You are going to be such a wonderful mom and I can’t wait to see you embark on this journey. What a celebration his birth will be. You went through so much to get to this point and you are such an inspiration to so many. Thank you for opening your heart to us. You share your gorgeous designs, successes and vulnerabilities in such a humble, true way. Your courage to share is much appreciated. I am a designer that has also struggled with an eating disorder and severe anxiety. Your posts about anxiety and pregnancy gave me the courage I had been searching for to start our family. Although I’ve wanted this for a while, I felt restrained by my anxiety. Thank you for your open heart. It truly means more than you can imagine.
Good for you! Take as much time off as you need. It’s the most precious, magical time in your life and you will never get it back, so enjoy it while you can! And remember, it actually gets a lot easier as they get older, so enjoy the snuggles and cooing, but when it gets hard (and it will!) remember that it does get better – otherwise moms wouldn’t keep having babies! You are so fortunate to be able to have your own business, so own it and make your own schedule based on your own needs – that is the most important! Good luck and welcome to Motherhood :-)
I just wanted to echo how much we appreciate everything that goes into your blog and everything you do – I got a little worked up inside and red in the face reading some of the ugly comments. I know you are strong and confident and can generally just laugh or ignore those…but we are all human and at the most beautiful / exciting/ overwhelming/ anxious time in your life, those things tend to hit a little harder. The strongest people on the planet still have things that can break through the confident outer armor we all have figured out that we have to have in this world. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for those people – I know you know this, but just thought I’d reiterate that people who spend their energies on hurting rather than lifting up are so jealous of your very beautiful, blessed life and have been beaten down themselves – they’ve missed the part where they can also lift themselves by spreading joy to other people. Anywho…. you know how awesome you are but with greatness comes that line of people waiting to point out anything negative they can find – – people are uncomfortable with greatness. Thank you for being so humble in your approach to this blog – through the years I have found great comfort in reading things we have in common. You have added much to my life – so, thank you. Best wishes for a wonderful/ happy/ healthy next few months to all 3 of you!
Erin, I’m so excited for you and can hardly wait to see the full nursery reveal. Brava to you in thanking and guiding your readers to do the right thing on your blog. Best to you as you continue your transition to motherhood!
Omg, the sneak peek of the nursery is AMAZE!!! Can’t wait to see the rest. So excited for ya’ll! Being an entrepreneur myself and starting to think about kids but not having taken the plunge yet, you are totally my guiding light for things like taking time off and how you juggle work and motherhood! I love reading these posts and have come to look forward to them! Good luck with everything—-I know you’ll be a rock star mom and approach everything with tenacity, grace and humor , like all the other parts of your life. You mean so much to us too! Your blog is the only one I read every single day! :)
So happy and excited for you Erin! I wish you all the best!
Dear Erin,
Best of luck on this wonderful new journey. It makes me so sad to hear you had negative comments. Mothers need to stick together the most. Without a community of mothers this hard job is that much harder. (try to find some that enjoy champagne and pizza on a Tuesday night while the kids play and husbands are at work) Lastly I hope you remember that none of us know what we are doing, especially in the beginning, We are all just Bozos on a Bus trying to figure it out.
You have a great attitude! I’m an interior designer, and when I gave birth to twin boys eleven years ago, I basically stopped working entirely. I wasn’t running my own firm; I was working with another designer in her firm. I am so, so, so sorry that I didn’t just wing it and try to figure it out as I went along. I’m back to work now ( I started back up when they were eight), but I am so thrilled for you that you are going for it big time! You will stumble, and you have days where you will feel that you are doing a million things and none of them well, but you will also feel an amazing sense of accomplishment. Just always remember that no single day or week, or even month will change the outcome of either your business or your child! He’s going to know you love him, and will have the great privilege of watching a mother pursue her passion which is the greatest gift you can give a child because it gives them permission to pursue theirs. Best of luck to you!! It’s going to be a wild and amazing ride. The only advice I ever give to parents-to-be is “Fasten Your Seatbelt!!!”
It’s going to be the biggest adventure of your life! Enjoy every moment you can and best of luck on the actual delivering-a-baby part. Do what feels right for you and you only, because every single one of us has a different experience. That is the only advice I have ever enjoyed giving!
your nursery is simply gorgeous!!!!!
I’m so excited for you and your family!!
Just breathe!!!:)
Erin,
I’m a long time reader and I seldom comment, but like a lot of the ladies today…your jam bag post comments have been on my mind! I’m so glad you addressed it and I LOVED everything you were bringing. It’s okay for things to get dirty, as Oprah once said ” use your good stuff”!!
I’m not a mother, but would love to be one day and reading the comments reminded me that everyone wants to be an expert about something that women have been doing since the dawn of time. No one will ever be an expert about child rearing, but I know you will find your rhythm and do what feels right. Enjoy your holidays and can’t wait to see pictures and hear that everything went smoothly!
xo
Erin, Good Luck! No matter what or how you chose to do it your son will think you are the most awesome women in the world. I went back to my dental practice 4 weeks after having my twins via c-section. That was what was right for me and our family. In the end the people at your address are all that matter. You will find that as your little one grows. Sometimes you have to “zip up the bubble” as we say.
I have also found my 13 year olds need me more now than they did when they are babies. Good luck and we will be here whenever you are ready.
You got this Erin. Xo
There is nothing more special than the birth of your first child. Enjoy it and let other people help when you need it. Don’t be afraid to ask specifically for what you need – people love to help so they can feel part of the joy.
I will pray for your delivery and your little one. God bless.
YOU GO (you three!!) franki
The nursery is looking so beautiful! I can’t believe you are almost there Erin and I wish you and Andrew so much love and happiness during this very special time. Please go back and reread my words from your Top Motherhood Worries (Oct 28 at 1:03pm.) What you decide to share will dictate negative( and positive) comments, so just don’t go there unless you are okay with all sides giving their opinions. Please be careful with that, and it really has nothing to do with being a new mom. Moms have big opinions–the good the bad and the ugly and it will continue until you have grandchildren!!! I’m sorry people have to be negative, but this is one are of passion that will never die. Parenthood is the best, and only you and Andrew are in charge when it comes to your children! xoxo
I wish you so much joy. Your blog brings a lot of inspiration to me every day. Enjoy the time that you have and trust your instincts. I have two eleven year-olds and it is hard when they are infants to trust yourself but you will find your way and know what to do and you will be able to filter all of the solicited and unsolicited advice. I know you are going to be a great mom and just savor it because the cliche is true the time passes so quickly. Good luck!
Best of Luck Erin…you are about to embark on the most exhausting, exciting, and fulfilling journey of your life. It will go by way faster than you could ever imagine so enjoy. My best advice is to be kind to yourself, take lots of pics and videos and find a wonderful tribe of moms who will offer authentic love and advice and maybe a bottle of wine on the days that those are needed! ;) You’ll be great!!
Oh my word. SO exciting! These next few weeks are such a magical time. Soak it all in–especially that new baby smell and soft baby head and little puppy noises they make…I’m clearly crazy baby hungry over here. Also, FYI, the first meal after delivery will be the. best. meal of your life. Food will never taste better. Eek! Congratulations!!
Haters gonna hate girl! Do not let them get to you. You are going to rock this “mama thing” in the most fashionable, enviable way. Just know that for every negative jab, there are ten gazillion supportive thoughts going out to you (us normally silent observers included). We are all rooting for you, and dying to “meet” baby Gates, who will no doubt be the most handsome, striped onsie wearing, little guy. xoxo, Becky
That nursery is exquisite! Wishing you much luck and happiness .
You got this! What is normal? Don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can’t do. You know what is best for you and your family.
I am so excited for you to embark on the journey of motherhood, it is the best. Good luck with the birth of your sweet baby. I am sure you’ve gotten heaps and heaps of advice and I am sure that is overwhelming, so as a birth doula, I will just say again, you got this. xoxo
I’m so excited for and Andrew and cannot wait to see pictures!
love you to death – you’ll do just fine and we wait with baited breath to hear all about it! not sure how you will get it all done, but if anyone can do it all, it’s YOU!
xo, gray
I love that you’re hearing the Jaws soundtrack. The fact that I didn’t know when and where I’d go into labor with both of my pregnancies was so trippy to me. I’m so excited for you and the very special holiday season you’ll have this year with your newborn!
yay! so excited for your journey into motherhood. And I totally get being a sensitive first time mom….it took us years to have our babies and they really don’t look like me or my hubby Andrew-we’re dark brunettes and the babies had red hair and blue eyes! strangers use to say – who does the baby look like?- not you. I always wanted to say- hang on a second- I worked hard for these kids- they are definitely mine…..it’s the comments from strangers that can really set things off…..saying that I hope my posts have been sensitive! hey 1% don’t be mean! congratulations Erin and Andrew…….PS nursery is stunning and I am selfishly happy you will be posting when baby is born…..I would have totally understood down time without the rest of us out here!
The nursery looks gorgeous. I can’t wait to see the rest. You sound like you have a great attitude and perspective. Best advice: Sleep when he sleeps. Go with your momma instinct. What is best for Momma is best for baby. Godspeed, Erin!
ps. Scorpio boys are wonderful
Erin,
I am so happy for you and can’t wait for the most important reveal of all, your little guy. You will be a great mom and your parenting style will evolve as he grows and develops. Enjoy these precious days. You are about to make some of the most important memories of your life.
Thanks for all you do. I love your writing and style.
I’ve been a follower for so long now and am so excited about your little one. We have a frozen transfer Thursday- our first attepmt was ectopic last year. Don’t let anyone steal your joy during this- there is enough of that probably going on in you own head – enjoy it! And I will enjoy following along!
Best of luck and everything else in the days to come to you, Andrew, and baby Gates. How wonderful for the new grandparents too.
As you have most likely found out at this point, the minute you say you’re pregnant, EVERYONE shares their opinion about everything…and this will happen forever. Some advice is great, some is horrible. ..I did a lot of smiling and nodding in the beginning and then eye rolling in private, to be honest.
In that spirit of giving advice:) I wanted to share that it’s important to remember that if your birth plan doesnt happen like you imagined, if breast feeding is hard (if you are trying it ) is really hard, if you start to feel totally unprepared or really freaked out, it’s ok! Take advantage of all the help you get in the hospital – empower yourself.
Tactical advice: swipe everything from the bassinet, do bring cotton granny panties because if for some reason you get a csection, I found the disposable underwear bothered my stitches. And if you are like me and breast feeding was challenging, and I was already supplementing with formula in the hospital, ask the nurses for the prepackaged bottles to bring home. I ‘m not posting this to get into a discussion of breast v formula, but from personal experience my first night home would have been less crazy had I thought about it.
Finally, find a great pediatrician that understands that helping you in the beginning months is just as important as making sure your child is healthy. I called mine ALL THE TIME with my first child., especially after googling things:)
All my best and look forward to seeing your bundle of joy. If you are delivering at Newton Wellesley you are in GREAT hands:)
Erin,
I’m not a mom, but I do have a fantastic mother. She is kind, she is generous, she is confident and I know she loves me & my brother. She also spoils our dog rotten. I see every single one of these traits in you and I have no doubt that you will be an awesome mama to Baby Gates. He, Baxter, and Oliver are lucky to have you.
You’re going to be fine. Baby gates will be loved and that is the most important thing you can give him. Trust your maternal instincts and be specific when asking for advice.
You got this! The good thing is none of us know what we’re doing, we’re all just making it up as we go along. Enjoy the ride, wear your cheetah jammies when you get home (there will be lots of Jammie time in your near future!) and we’ll be here when you’re ready or need to share. Good luck and lots of love to you and your family!
Erin – I wish you and Andrew the best of luck. I have been reading your blog since 2010 and am so glad to have been able to have access to your great advice and taste. You are truly talented and I look forward to all of the wonderful professional and personal joys you will share with us in the future.
Good luck, Erin!!! I hope you have an easy delivery, speedy recovery and enjoy the crazy ride of being a boy Mom. It really is the best. Know that when you are ready to return, your blog “family” will be eagerly awaiting your return.
Erin, I’ve been reading the blog for years, and look forward to it every day. I’m happy to hear that your design team will be sharing some posts, as I’d love to see their work. I hope your delivery goes smoothly and wish you and Andrew the best!! You two will make lovely parents. Also, the nursery it adorbies!!!
*oops, (Nursery is adorbies)
Best of luck Erin. Feel the joy you and Andrew deserve.
Kudos to you for reminding people to be tactful!!
A little something I noticed about juggling work and baby (granted I returned part time not full). I felt mom guilt no matter what. I felt guilty if I was home with baby and wanted to be out. I felt guilty when I was out and not with baby. I concluded its just based on love, you love this little person and want to do the best for them all the time, yourself be put to the back burner. I say that to say if you do feel this way when the time comes, it is normal but try to remember a happy mom makes for a happy baby.
Erin!
I am so excited for you! This nursery is totally stunning.
It’s been literally going over and over in my own head how people can be so shitty to give you crap about your hospital bag. It breaks my heart that the comment section was not filled with anything but kind and sweet comments for you.
Literally what is wrong with people and what is so broken in our society that people can be so nasty? It’s disgusting. If i hear one more person say, ” well they put themselves out there” as an excuse to be ridiculed I will punch someone. You are not a politician and your talking about pillows and cute shoes majority of the time not debating economic policy or gun control.
I literally stop blogging when I became pregnant with my first child because I could handle how nasty people were….which is a total shame that I let me get to me. I truly believe blogging and sharing experiences empowers all of us and supports all women and their individual values. If we wrote to not offend anyone the content would so vanilla and boring. Thank you Erin for sharing your incredible story!
I learned this little meditation years ago when I first started to deal with crappy negative energy. Totally works for me!
Breath in love,
breath out anger, disappointment, etc
xoxo
Reading some of these advice comments can drive you to drink. I can’t imagine having to go through this 26 years ago when I had my first. Women have been giving birth for quite a long time so don’t stress about what is “right and wrong”. Unfortunately, there will always be social justice warriors to chime in trying to make you see it their way. Do what is right for you and your family and enjoy the very special day of Baby Gates’ birth.
Ditto on posts from Nana and her insane gardening skills! Best of luck to you Erin! you are going to be a great mom! Don’t let the haters get to you. Especially the ones that goad you about going back to work too early. My parents own their own business and my mom always says she was itching to get back to work to have some sanity and to be around other adults. She said it was nice because when she came home she was soo excited and thankful to hang out with her babies instead of exhausted from spending the whole day with them. She says she appreciated and cherished the time she did get to spend with us more. Twenty-eight years later I don’t feel any less loved by my mother because she went to back to work “early” and find her an amazing inspiration of how to juggle career and family! Best of luck and a speedy delivery.
Oh Erin – you will be fine. And we are here for you. Sometimes you can feel quite alone as a new mother – it all seems so overwhelming and the responsibility equally so. Just remember to cut yourself some slack, its a bit of trial and error and its different for everyone. Try and take some time just for yourself, leave the housework, take a nap, pick up a magazine or a write up a quick blog post if you can (‘cos we’ll miss you!) but put you and your baby/family first and the rest of us will be there when you’re ready – we are not going anywhere. I think most of us are just sooo excited for you after all the struggles to finally get here. Enjoy!! (and ignore all the tears and panic attacks etc… its all hormones and they will settle). A glass of wine in the evening works wonders! Good luck xx
Hi Erin. I’m a mom and grandma and my mom never gave me advice unless I asked for it and I do the same with my 2 daughter-in-laws. I did tell them when they became moms is you don’t know how good a parent you are until you are done raising them, all you can do is give it your best and always always be there for them when they fall. You and Andrew are going to be terrific Parents and are gonna have so much fun!I bet your parents can hardly wait
I just finished Daring Greatly by Brene Brown, which is about the courage to be vulnerable. Excellent book. In it, she addressed “mommy bullying”, although I don’t think she actually called it that. She makes the point that people are scared of being vulnerable, and the most vulnerable thing we can do is have children. When people are frightened and scared, some of them lash out at others to protect themselves. Those that feel the most vulnerable and uncertain about their parenting choices are often those the quickest to lash out at others. Attacking someone else’s choices is a way to affirm their own and reassure themselves they made the best choice. It’s tough to remember when you’re on the receiving end of the vitriol, but its really about their lack of confidence in their own choices that make them go after you.
You just do you Erin.
Erin: I want to wish you the best of luck with everything. I am beyond thrilled for you and Andrew, and know that you will be able to handle everything. I was looking through your blog just now and noticed all of the comments on your post about what to bring to the hospital. I wanted to let you know that I have three children, and all of the labor and delivery nurses I encountered were so amazing, I almost changed my career because of them. The nurses that helped me had nothing but support, compassion, patience, encouragement, great advice and true kindness. My first child ended up being a c-section, and as we were rushing to the OR, my now ex-husband was quickly handed scrubs to put on before he went into the OR with me. Of course, he ended up putting one of the booties on his head. He looked like a blue cone-head. The nurse who was helping me during labor stayed past her shift to be with us, and quickly corrected the issue with the ‘tight hat’. Not only did she take care of me, she was also there 100% for my ex. Please do not be nervous about how the nurses are going to treat you because of some of the comments on your other post. I am thinking of you guys during this final countdown!
I am so sorry to hear about the mean comments, some people just can´t help themselves. I know it might be hard to ignore, but just rest assure, that it has nothing to do with you. It´s all their petty little personalities. Enjoy your baby and the rest of the wonderful life you have worked so hard to create for yourself. Your plan sounds great, taking care of both your baby and your career. It reminds me to be greatful for the system here in Norway, with 12 months of (paid)maternity leave. Some people here take that for granted. We really shouldn´t. It´s such a luxury. Can´t wait to see the nursery, I am sure it is as impeccable as everything else you create.
As someone who is not a mom yet, but have plenty of family and friends who are- one thing is always true- it’s scary becoming a mother!! But you’re made for this and just know that deep down you will know what to do. Unsolicited advice is sometimes hard to hear and often very frustrating. All you can do is take it one day at a time. You and your hubby will be great. Here’s wishing you a safe delivery and enjoy all the exciting moments in the coming days. XOXO
Waiting for Baby Gates is like waiting for a family member to arrive. Each morning I check thinking maybe today is the day. :-)
Because my baby is an adult now–I will leave the advice to the newer moms. One thing I know for sure is that this little guy is very very lucky to have you and Andrew as his loving parents. All the best to you. Enjoy…xo
Thanks for sharing on so many levels with us! I’m hoping everything goes really well and look forward to whatever bits you choose to share during the next phase!
We are all wishing you a wave of love and good feelings during this miraculous moment. Time to forget all about the blog and the to-do lists, and take nice quiet walks and wind down before all the excitement ahead. Muster up all the calmness that you possible can now and all the way up to your drive to the hospital…put your feet up whoever possible… and think happy thoughts. Your body and the nurses will do the rest! I delivered on a Sunday, and walked into the hospital with the NYT crossword puzzle tucked into my bag. I remember asking a nurse something pretty silly, like how would I know when my contractions were strong enough to push the button for the delivery nurse. She said, “Oh, you’ll know!”. Sure enough, as I was rocking away doing the puzzle, thinking that the delivery was going easier than pie, I dropped the pencil and puzzle on the floor and knew that the time had come! It’s all beautiful, and it’s yours and Andrew’s time to share.
Don’t let any negative Nancys bring you down, especially now! This is such an exciting time (I can relate, with my 3.5 month old son), enjoy it. Let me tell you it goes by so fast, you’ll blink and he’ll be a month old. I’m sure everyone else has told you this. But it’s so true. Be sure to soak it up.
Oh and this!
http://mashable.com/2015/10/22/end-mommy-wars-film/?utm_cid=mash-com-fb-main-link#eull2jtSD8qH
In case you haven’t already seen it!
This made me tear up. So happy for you, Erin.
You are going to be a great mama! Good luck and enjoy. You will know way more about that little man than you think.
I just wanted to let you know that harsh blog comments are just a preview of the muriad of crazy, parenting comments, critiques, suggestions and advice you will get from random people from the moment your beautiful son enters the world.
Steel yourself as much as possible. Also, remind yourself that he is yours and yours alone (and Andrews). The choices you make are the choices that YOU will make based on your research and how YOU want to raise him. The consequences of those choices will ALSO be yours and yours alone (good and bad). All those well meaning strangers will not be around when the going gets tough (baby is up all night, baby is colicky, baby goes on a nursing strike, etc.). Do what is best for you and your family always, and try to find confidence in your decisions. Yes, you might make a mistake – but you’ll learn from it, tweak things next time and slowly you’ll find your way the way we all have done – stumbling around trying everything to see what sticks. =) With this perspective in mind, take all the comments with a grain of salt, sift through the useful pieces of information and learn to let go of the rest without letting YOURSELF feel judged or critiqued. I think most of the time, people do come from a good place, and if they don’t…well, who has time for them? You’ll have a beautiful baby boy to get lost in! =)
I’m so very excited for you and I wish you a healthy and happy delivery! This is the beginning of such a wonderful time in life!
As a Mom old enough to be your Mom I am going to tell you to do what you want and not worry about what anyone else has to say. Listen to your heart and your doctor and you will be fine. Cannot wait to see pics of your new little miracle. The best advice I can give is to relax and enjoy as life will change every single day for at least the next 18 years!
Good Luck! Line up a million people and everyone’s story will be different. March to your own drummer, kid and NEVER apologize. #fthehaters
I can’t wait to hear how your new normal goes…I’m also self-employed and I’m in the same boat as you regarding time off. I’m not salaried, and if I slow down, who knows how that will affect my future business and income. I enjoy working, too, and plan to be a working mom. So, please keep us in the loop on how you manage the work/life balance.
It’s funny, I went through all of your “Time to Jam” comments and made a list of what to bring in the hospital bag for when my time comes. Lots of things I didn’t know.
You’re going to be a fantastic mom!
Erin,
You are a total boss. Don’t let anyone make you feel different. Your blog inspires me every day to follow my passions and persevere through hardships. Why anyone would tell you to change who you are is crazy to me. Hope you have a safe and healthy delivery!
Rachel
No advice here, but wishing you a safe and speedy delivery & you & Andrew all the love and snuggles with your sweet boy. I have read your blog every single day since 2007 — it’s always one of my first reads every morning … over 3 different cities, 3 jobs, etc! Ha! So … I’m unreasonably happy for someone that I’ve never even met before! Thank you for your willingness to share your life/ journey with us!
Hi Erin, I have been following your blog for about a year now and this is the first time I’ve ever felt so strongly compelled to comment. I was so incredibly disheartened to read some of the comments on your post about your jam bag for the hospital. I was literally shocked to see other women would be so hateful, catty, and toxic to another woman for no good reason other than pure jealousy. To those haters that felt the need to put someone else down in order to feel better about yourselves (and especially the one not even brave enough to put their whole name, but goes by “N”), you should really ask yourself why you follow this or any other blog. Life is hard enough with balancing family, friends, and a career without having to dodge fiery comments like yours. This is supposed to be fun and a bit of an escape from the stresses of everyday and you ruin it on so many levels.
Erin, I obviously don’t know you personally, but from what I can tell, you are a genuine, funny, and passionate person. You have worked hard for everything you have and I hope that you continue to trust your judgment and your instincts, especially as you embark on motherhood. You will be a wonderful mother and I can’t wait to see you in this role. You will rock it as you do all other things in your life. Thank you for being such an inspiration to young female professionals who happen to be first time mothers as well.
Erin,
You will do great! Someone commented about labor pains and I wanted to add that my contractions felt a lot like period cramps so if you notice that, it’s showtime. :) I wish someone had told me that, haha! Excited for you and Andrew! Can’t wait to see a pic and hear what his name is!
xoxo
Funny you should mention period cramps. I was a labor and delivery nurse and had always had bad menstrual cramps. At work I’ll admit I sometimes silently judged some of the laborning ladies thinking they’d probably never had bad cramps so they were just being drama queens. I thought when I had a child it would just be like my usual cramps. Well, the first contraction I ever had was 100 times worse that the worst cramp I’d ever had. And this was at a time when epidurals were frowned upon. I’m not saying it’s like a walk in the park now, but knowing you can get some relief has got to be reassuring.
I just want to say thanks for putting your journey out there. I’m due on Friday with my first, so it’s been so fun to read along the past several months. I actually changed out a few things in my own hospital bag (and went out and bought some cheap flip flops) based on the comments on your hospital bag post. Some of the comments were absurd, though. Not surprising because I’ve watched the mommy wars from a distance for years, but still sad to see others be so vile toward a new mom under the guise of “wanting you to focus on what’s important”. Get a grip, people. Anyway, I’ll be thinking about you in the coming days (and weeks) as I’m right there with you! And I plan on going back to work (from home) at 6 weeks, too. I didn’t get my MBA to just look at it on a shelf. Good luck, Erin!
My apologies to Erin and other readers who felt I made negative comments on the Time to jam post. I wasn’t careful enough with my words and they did not reflect the proper tone. I did not post my comment with a malicious intent but I regret that they were interpreted that way.
I think the main thing to always focus on is that this has to work for you , your husband and baby (and business) and no one else. there is no right or wrong answer. from crying it out to not, to paci’s to cloth vs. pampers, you have to do what is right for you. every baby is different and you will get into your groove and make it work, because life goes on in a wonderful but different way.
So excited to read about your journey! You CAN have it all Erin. You just have to figure out the best way to juggle it all in each season of life as it consistantly changes. Don’t be afraid to ask for help! Most importantly, enjoy! You worked hard for all of it.
My advice (not related to maternity leave but timely) learned from experience: If you feel like you have stomach pains and need to go to the bathroom, don’t think its something you ate, you may be in labor! I finally figured out that my tummy was hurting every five minutes and the doc told me to head straight for the hospital!
Hi Erin, Your plan sounds perfect. It’s both solid and fluid. I have to say, I was literally thinking about you all day yesterday. It just broke my heart that you would have to experience even a moment of the terrible judgment that came your way (concerning your hospital stay) in the final days of your pregnancy. I know you can handle it, but, you shouldn’t have to be in that position at all. I am so thankful that I’ve never had that need or desire to judge other mothers. I feel that we’re women who share a similar experience that can never be fully explained and 95% of us are doing the best we can. My Mom raised me and my sister to be part of the “sisterhood” and I’m doing the same with my daughter. Every chance I get, I take the opportunity to raise other women up in front of her. Also, the plans for the blog sound great. Even if it doesn’t go as planned (for the blog) you have your sisterhood behind you who instead of wondering where the posts are, will be wondering if you and your son are just too madly in love to break away or simply hoping everything is going ok. Positive intentions only :-)
First off, I have been following your blog for coming on 2 years now and I am so incredibly excited for the journey you are embarking upon. Being a mother is such a gift – the moment you see that little guy a part of your heart will open that has never been touched before – and that compartment just continues to grow and grow over the years. That being said, mothers are a species all in their own. They are protective of their “young” – and some can be a bit self righteous in all things “parenting” – I remember years ago when I was a brand new mom (my baby is now 19) – and a lesson I learned very quickly was to be cautious on asking for advice. There were several times I almost felt “bullied” into trying things a certain way when trying to solve the mystery of a baby, to my own and my baby’s detriment. Trust your gut. Trust your love – and all will be well.
PS – so excited to see the reveal of your nursery – you have exquisite taste!
I would also chime in with ‘Trust your gut’. You are the Mom and he is your baby. I think there is an innate sense of knowing what your baby needs. My oldest is also 19. I learned very quickly that everyone thinks they know exactly how every little thing should be handled. Even trusted family members. It can be so stressful when you are getting all of these strong opinions, many of which are contrary to what feels natural for you. Give yourself grace. Don’t worry if you make mistakes. Everyone does. Find a pediatrician that you are comfortable with. If you aren’t sure about something, call the nurse or take your baby in. They are a wonderful resource and are happy to help. You are going to do great!!
Such great advice, Krista. I have adopted the parenting advice of a friend for myself and when talking with other moms which is simply, “do whatever works for you.” We are all doing our best and what works for one family may not work for another. We should just support each other!
It already looks so perfect for baby Gates, what a lucky little boy he will be.
So happy to hear that you are going to take some time for just you and your family and what a beautiful time of the year for you to enjoy all the blessing you have in your life!
It’s a shame so people feel the need to be negative but I guess is they are unhappy people in their lives, you are a better person for not letting them rain on your parade.
I wish you all the joy that you so truly deserve.
Very best,
Liz
Best wishes Erin, for a wonderful and easier-than-imagined delivery and of course for good health for your sweet baby boy and you!! Everyone’s motherhood is unique, enjoy your own journey!
Nothing but best wishes to you and a safe arrival of a healthy bouncing baby boy! Cheers!!
Wishing you and your husband all the best during the next few weeks, and over the rest of your lives as parents.
Erin, you’re going to be a great mom! I can’t wait to see the nursery reveal and see a pic of the little guy! Best of luck to you and Andrew! I know all of your readers (myself included) will be checking EOS daily for any updates :)
xo,
Katie
I am so excited for you! Those last few days are certainly nerve-wracking as you question every little thing, “Is THIS it? Is it starting?!”
Also, it’s okay to ignore people who say “enjoy every minute.” That’ll just make you feel crappy because there are LOTS of motherhood minutes that will suck.
The nursery is gorgeous , of course! If you decide that whatever named you’ve picked doesn’t work, Reid is a pretty good one?
Best wishes for a smooth labor and delivery! Xoxo
Ha, so true! It’s the best, hardest job ever. And what great, hard job doesn’t have moments that suck? Just trust that you’ll get through them, just as you do in other hard moments in life…and you’ll be better, stronger, wiser for having toughed it out. Best of luck, Erin and Andrew!
Best of luck!
I am so excited for you both!! This learning to let go of things in life is an always changing process. Even now with my 6.5 year old daughter just last night we decorated the tree (no judgement please as that is just when it worked out for us to get a tree!) and I am normally super in charge of the tree. I like white lights and the ornaments to be done in the exact locations that I like. We have a tree with options: colored or white lights and my daughter liked the brightly colored lights so I let them stay…and it drove me crazy. Then she wanted to put the red and green balls on the tree and they ended up being clustered in one area (where she could reach). I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to move them. But then I just relaxed and thought “we are making memories right now and I just need to let it go”. So I did. Guess what? IT was very liberating. You will have special moments like this when you let go of the things that drive you crazy. Motherhood is a test of all those things manifested in you. I have no doubt you will be great at this. You are the best mother for your baby. No one else will be the perfect fit for that role. Here’s to letting go and living and learning. Cheers Erin!
Hi – So excited for you!! Just do what works best for you. Parenting advice is helpful, but too much advice is just annoying. You’ll be a great mom! Enjoy!
Best of luck for a quick and easy delivery! Enjoy, it’s a big adjustment, but you will be great!!!!
I am just going to say to you that you can do this and it will be great. The unsolicited advice or negative comments don’t stop once the baby is born, but you develop a filter that will keep you sane. You are about to have a life changing event, with a ton of people cheering you on – don’t listen to the few negative Nancys!
As always, thanks for sharing so candidly. Best of luck for a healthy (& speedy) delivery!
So exciting! Love following this journey with you. My only advice is to give yourself permission to change your mind – about any of it. Don’t worry about what any of us think. Make your decision based on the needs of that sweet baby, you and Andrew.
I’m very happy for you and your (growing) family. I’m looking forward to reading posts by your other contributors and delighted you’re not trying to do it all. .. and accepting that all your well made plans may go right out the window. The nursery peek-a-boo is charming and I’m looking forward to the full reveal. It’s always good to have photographic evidence it was clean, once upon a time.
Erin, I have been a faithful reader of your blog for as long as I have been in blogland and I always look forward to any and all of your post. YOU are my younger inspiration. I feel like if I were younger I would have your style and as a more mature woman I love to feel inspired and refreshed with your take on design and style. This new journey is one I am also looking forward to follow along with because I do know what you have to look forward too and it is the most precious time of your life. Hard, tiring and all of the above, but most importantly a feeling of LOVE that you can not even fathom. Keep doing what you do so very well and I for one will be here to follow along.
Kathysue
So excited for you- to be at the start of a new chapter. Whenever I get unsolicited advice, I try to remember the 99% of other moms I’ve met who are super supportive of everyone’s choices. Having been there, we know there is no right or wrong, just doing our best.
All the best to you at this exciting time! Take the time you need and want with your new love and we will be here when you return!
As a new mom to a one month old, I am so excited for you! Those last few days are so special, enjoy them with Andrew! I currently have my baby girl sound asleep on my chest, in my jammies, chugging coffee. While my type A self is freaking out about laundry, vacuuming, tidying, and dinner, I am so content right now. Remember the hard times get better and everything gets easier! Your maternity plan sounds awesome! A break from social media and blogging will probably be so refreshing! (The best thing I did was take my work email off of my phone.) I can’t wait to “meet” the little guy! Congrats mama, you got this!!!
Erin, what an adventure you’re about to have with your little buddy. You are such a brave woman to ask for advice from your readers. My third is 5 months old, but man that first one is quite the teacher. I hated getting unsolicited advice (especially from my MIL but that’s another story) because my method was 100% on the fly and whatever happens happens. I had some pretty strong opinions about a few things like, no bumper in the bed. Only sleeping on her back until she could roll herself over, and being on a strict schedule because I was going back to work and we needed that then. With my third I’m completely willy nilly style. Now I’m staying home and it’s a totally different mindset. Couple things that aren’t typical that I’ll share- I hate the sleep when the baby sleeps line. Sometimes you just don’t want to sleep. You want to have a cup of coffee in peace or read a book or take a shower or shop online. Sleep wasn’t always the key to my sanity- it was doing things that made me still feel like me. There’s a certain amount of loss of yourself that happens because you become this new, fierce champion of sorts. It’s a struggle to hold onto yourself sometimes. But I think a happy, healthy Mama is key to a happy baby. This will be the hardest, most beautifully rewarding thing you’ve ever done. The first time he looks into your eyes and grins like you are heaven itself will alter your very being. Just remember it is ok to feel nuts, to feel afraid and happy and sad and mad and to feel all the feelings. I can’t wait to hear your words once you meet your son. Best wishes my dear! So many of us are behind you!
I completely agree with this! With very few exceptions, I cannot nap ever. And if I tried when my daughter was a newborn, I would spend forever trying to force myself to sleep and then she would inevitably wake up right as I was JUST starting to doze off, and all that precious baby-free time would be wasted!
My only advice is to acknowledge that some new moms are not really fans of the newborn phase, so don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re not in complete bliss for the first couple of months. It’s okay to just sort of struggle through it, with the knowledge that everything gets better around 12 weeks! Also, don’t stress too much about little oddities. Babies are constantly going through weird phases (e.g. he may stop sleeping at night for 3 days straight, then go right back to normal; or he may suddenly scream through every bedtime feeding–or bath or diaper change–for a week, then abruptly stop). When I was a new mom I tried so hard to figure it out logically, but by the time you think you’ve figured it out, they’re over that phase and onto the next weird thing. The mantra that I tell my friends with newborns now is, simply, “babies be babies.” You can’t always figure out WHY they do what they do or apply logic to solve it, so you’ve just got to roll with it. Because babies be babies, ya know?
Very true, I had post partum depression/anxiety and did not get to enjoy my little baby until he was 1+. Now if somebody offered me a stellar body, rocking career, exciting lifestyle or to just be his mom I would choose to be his mommy, a thousand times over. Children are a blessing. The love MULTIPLES not divides.
I am so glad to see this comment and was going to leave the same one myself despite NEVER commenting on blogs. I felt that I was completely mislead by my friends who had babies before me and were in the “enjoy every moment” camp but when I had the baby blues all these stories would come out about how hard their first few weeks were too. It is a hard balance between being negative and helping prepare new moms for how hard the first few weeks/months are (and how quickly they pass in the grand scheme of things!) and its totally normal if you don’t enjoy every moment ! My son is now 20 months and I have come to realize I am just not an infant person. I enjoy motherhood more and more with every passing month and while I look back at photos and think, “he was so cute then!” I have to admit I don’t yearn him to be that little again. Maybe that makes me a bad person.
Erin, I hope you have an easy delivery and enjoy your time off! You are going to do great!!
I think that’s great advice to remember that not all moms are in love with the newborn stage. I was one of those moms, and I was SO confused because I had heard for so long that for many women, the day they become moms were the best days of their lives. I get that now – *looking back*, the days my kids were born were the best days of my life because since then they’ve enriched my life immeasurably, but in those first few months they certainly didn’t feel like the best days of my life. It wasn’t all bad by any means, but my point is simply like you shouldn’t feel like anything is wrong with you if you don’t feel completely fulfilled by changing diapers and nursing/feeding all day.
As for going back to work – I’m an attorney and was fortunate enough to work from home when my 1st was born. I had a fabulous nanny and it was the best balance ever – I could completely focus on work and then take breaks to see and feed my baby. I imagine your days will be similar since you can check in on little Baby G when your schedule permits. Wishing you, Andrew and Baby G the best! #suckithaters
Amazingly said!
I have to say, the “sleep when the baby sleeps” thing drives me crazy. I have never been a napper in my life- I think the only time I’ve napped during the day over the age of five was when I had mono in high school. I just cannot do it. So I see myself being more like you- enjoying a cup of coffee and a magazine or writing a blog post (because that is enjoyable for me). Or maybe crying in the corner- who knows. :)
Sounds like you have a great plan in place as well as the right mindset to be flexible. You are going to be a great mom and your little man will be so lucky to have such a thoughtful woman as his mom! Best of luck and I look forward to hearing updates when you are ready :)
No advice here – just support and cheers from your cheering section…you’ll do great! Enjoy that little man and your adventures in parenthood!!
The short commute is the absolute smartest thing you ever did. It’s going to make everything so much easier. When my twins were born, I was dying to get out of the house for the first month or two and would have loved to go to the office for a few hours a day. I finally went back part time when they were 5 months old. Now that they are 7 months and a lot more fun, it’s a lot harder to leave! You will love having the interaction with other people, and then you will love going home to that little bundle. It’s really smart — good for you!
Good luck with this transition. I wholeheartedly agree that “time off” for maternity leave when you own a business complicates matters. When my daughter was born, I was running both a store and a design firm. It’s quite a bit to juggle!
If you are looking for guest blogger post ideas, I’d love to read about other design-job moms balance the load.
You will rock this Erin. I did a similar leave myself as a business owner – I took 2.5 months off outside of a few business emails and little business things, then slowly ramped up. I had a major injury to contend with during leave as I broke my ankle badly when Wes was 3 months old which threw a kink into things but I was full time my new way at around 8 months pp. For me being a business owner has meant I can have chill relaxed quiet mornings with Gerry and Wes, and that has been my favorite thing. No boss expecting me in at 9 on the dot. And help is so crucial – I have an amazing nanny who has become one of my favorite people on earth and wonderful house keepers every other week. We are by no means wealthy but we make it work and so will you. Excited for you!!
I think I’ve commented on this before, but I’m always amazed, and very grateful, for your loyalty to us. I feel that, out of all of the blogs I have followed over the years, you stand out as the one who seems to really show her readers true respect — not just gratitude — but respect. With all that you have going on, I think I can count on my fingers how often you have missed a day of posting over the past several years. Every time you have a new project keeping you busier than ever, I wonder if this will be the tipping point where you end this lovely blog (and it’s mostly supportive community). Knowing that you will be busier than ever with your baby, and that your success in your professional life is only growing bigger each year, it’s nice to know that you’re willing to explore ways to keep it going, even when it can’t be 100% posts from you personally.
I’m looking forward to posts from your EGD ladies – I think that’s a great way to kind of “see inside” your work life, and I’ve wondered about that being a possibility on the blog.
Anyway, only the best and happiest of thoughts to you and Andrew. You’re about to start the greatest chapter of your lives!
Long time reader here that’s never commented. I have been reading your blog religiously for so long – I even joke with my mom (who is also an avid reader) that you’re one of my best friends even though we haven’t met! Ha! Seriously, love your blog and your style and your general outlook on life. I felt compelled to make my first comment because I just had my first baby in July and my maternity leave ends this week – it has been the fastest 16 weeks of my life! I am super type A but I have never enjoyed not knowing what I’m doing as much as I have these past few months – it’s scary and funny at the same time but it is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. So just relax and enjoy the ride – it is so true that your instincts will kick in and you will know what to do! Wishing you three all the best!
P.s. Starting with the day after delivery I lived in leggings (to hold everything in place), nursing tanks, and long sweaters (to cover your “diaper”) – nothing of mine got ruined but I did stick to dark colors!
Thanks for telling us your plan! You are so brave for sharing this journey with us….my heart just aches for you when people post negative comments. They are so harsh and unfair. Thank you for continuing to openly share with us despite knowing that some people will inevitably try to tear you down. I think that must be really hard to do. We appreciate it.
Looking forward to your guest posts! Best of luck to you- I haven’t been this excited about a baby watch since Prince George :)
I can’t wait to see your little guys bedroom reveal!! The sneak peek is such a tease! ?
Thank you for sharing your journey. May you and Andrew have a beautiful experience meeting your son. Wishing you and yours all the very best. I can’t wait to be introduced to the little man on the blog!!!
You are awesome. Your baby will be awesome. Ignore the haters. This last week (or, dear god, 2) is so magical and anticipatory. Enjoy! Love the nursery and that lucite shelf. I look forward to your blog every morning. It is my Internet home.
Best wishes for a gentle delivery. Get some rest while you still can and my advice is to do a little reading about newborns now. I was obsessed with labor & delivery and didn’t read at all about babies; I figured it would come naturally. Much did come naturally, but even so, I wish I had read what to expect the first month before my daughter arrived.
Also, you know you already love your son, but just seconds after his birth you’ll realize that you’d throw yourself under a bus for him. I call it the “mama bear instinct”. It’s fierce and can be overwhelming. Also overwhelming (the hormones are crazy those first few weeks) is the respect and connection you will feel to mothers everywhere and of all ages.
Enjoy the journey.
What a wonderful post. As a full time working mom of 2, my only advice is to do it your own way, whatever that means to you. For a variety of reasons, I needed to go back to work after 3 weeks. Everyone told me I was crazy, that it wasn’t possible, etc. and you know what? It was absolutely fine and I didn’t regret it for a second. Just live each day individually and do what works for you. You’ve accomplished so much and the right you have earned is to do this your own way. Best of luck! And hope to see you at the Waban Starbucks with the little guy!
So interesting to hear! I have a feeling he may be coming with me to a meeting or two in December in a carrier. I have a very hard time sitting still.
Liz’s advice is spot on. Do what makes sense for your circumstances. THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG WAY!! My maternity leaves were different lengths for each of my 3 children (different work circumstances driving the return date) and it worked out fine. The one who got me for four full months isn’t any better off today than her siblings. And, that first day back was equally hard with each one (for me – they were fine :)). So, brace yourself for that and know that it does get easier. And, faster than you expect. The best advice I can give is that babies change more in that first year of life than at any other time so realize that, just as you think you’ve figured it out, he’ll change the rules of the game……and you’ll follow his lead. Remember that nobody knows your baby as well as you (and Andrew) do. Trust that instinct and just smile and nod at the “helpful” people around you who want to teach you how to do it. Wishing you a quick and easy delivery. Thanksgiving will take on a whole new meaning for you this year!
I’m so excited for you! In the emotional post-partum roller coaster after I gave birth last year, I read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and somehow it made me feel better. It’s funny and self-deprecating and you think, And I thought I was an over-achiever; this lady is (lovable but) bananas!
As for your maternity “leave,” I’m sure I’m not the only one who would enjoy some floral arranging/centerpiece/window box/gardening tips from Nana!
Is it weird that I’ve become so vested in this birth?! You do such a great job of sharing that I ‘ve followed your IVF journey, and now pregnancy, and have cheered you all along the way.
My kids are grown, but you bring me back to that wonderment and excitement over their births. This is the one that makes you a mom, so it’s all that more special.
Best of luck to you, and definitely take the time to enjoy!
Hi Erin! Best wishes to you and Andrew. I can’t wait to “meet” your little boy (and hear his name :)
Wishing you a safe and easy delivery. You’ve got this!
Erin,
You are so brave to expose yourself and your life to the general public as you do on a nearly-daily basis. I know you will continue to be that brave person when your little boy decides it’s time to make his grand entrance, too. Try to just focus on the amazing blessing you and Andrew are about to receive, and try not to dwell on the negativity that sometimes rears its ugly head. Your energy is far too valuable to be spent on people who just want to bring you down.
You’ll get this whole thing figured out, I promise.
Thank you for thinking of us and taking the time to fill us in. When I checked in a couple hours ago and there wasn’t anything I wondered if it was showtime! We’re all rooting for you.
I so don’t get the ugliness either – it’s a strange, strange part of the human conditioning. Hopefully,it’s mitigated a little bit by knowing you have an army of readers behind you, wishing you well and excited for Baby Gates.
/cx
Please please take some time for yourself – you deserve it! We will be here, hanging out, for whenever you return. I had (and still do) a go-go personality before I became a mom – and if I have one piece of advice for transitioning, you’re going to have to learn to let things go a bit. AND you’ll have to be okay with it. It was SO hard for me to do, but I’m a better mom and spouse, and I’m less stressed. So if you feel harried those first few weeks, just remember – the to-do list will never leave, but the children do. Please enjoy all your time! Good luck!
I am so excited for you and Andrew!!! Best of luck with the delivery of your boy and try to enjoy every second :-)
I’m not a mom, but I am surrounded by lots of beautiful little babies from my family and friends, and what it has shown me is that there are lots of different ways to do it “right.” And if you need a chuckle (and to reinforce that point), google “exhausted mom’s expert sleep advice.” Wishing you a safe delivery and a healthy baby boy!
You hit the nail on the head. Amazing since most people are before parents before they have kids!
There is no one way to do this. It was different for me from kid to kid. First time around I felt desperate to go back to work and could barely deal with being a first time mom to a fussy baby. The second time around I was repulsed by my job! It made me panic every time I thought about it. I wanted to stay home forever.
My only advice is to take care of YOURSELF! If you need time to bond, rest and heal without the weight of deadlines – take it! If you need some time to interact with grownups and a reason to put your makeup on and break up the groundhog days then do some work!
I love love LOVE my kids but there were times in those early days that made me want to rip my hair out. You don’t have to love every minute of it. Sometimes it feels like prison, but overall it is so amazing and so worth it. Good luck to you!
You’re already following your momma intuition and no doubt it will continue to serve you well. Only you and Andrew will know what’s best for your little guy.
I’m SO thrilled for you both! I keep checking instagram to see if you’ve posted an “it’s time!” pic – so close!!! I pray that you have a healthy, peaceful delivery! Xoxo
I’ve been following your blog for a long time and it’s been amazing that you’ve shared your journey, your ups and downs, your triumphs and your human moments so openly. Erin, enjoy this moment and every minute (even with the “Jaws” soundtrack) leading up to the little guy’s arrival and every second after. It goes by so quickly and trust me you’ll need to access these moments when the seas are a little stormy and he gets to the age of wanting more independence. Okay…there’s my two cents and now sending you and Andrew best wishes for this week!
Time is a precious commodity. It’s taken you a long time to have a child- cherish every minute of it. It’s going to be exhausting, you may not get a shower in that day- it’s ok! Best advice I can give- Nap when he does! It will save your sanity! The bottles, diapers, laundry etc will forever be part of your existence. Your son being tiny won’t. Take lots of pictures! Write a journal about everything he’s doing- they love to hear about themselves when they get older! Funny moments, first moments, etc. I cried the first time both of my kids actually found their laughs- you will get it once you see him! You two are going to be strangers trying to figure it out together, but that bond you two share, is forever! Take time for you in the process- hair, nails, massages. But enjoy the time you have together as a new family! May it be the most wonderful journey you travel on in your life!
I enjoy your blog and love your style but have never commented. Just wanted to wish you the very best as you get ready to welcome your baby boy. I am so excited for you. Please disregard the ugliness. For some reason, people get incredibly self-righteous and judgmental when it comes to motherhood. I think it comes from a place of insecurity. Women criticize other women to feel better about themselves. Sort of like middle school all over again! As mothers, we have all been judged and criticized and made to feel incompetent or ignorant at some point. You just happen to be in the unfortunate position of receiving that nonsense publicly. Please know that it’s not a personal thing. Every mother I know has dealt with it. Just enjoy your baby boy, make time to be with your husband and take good care of yourself.
This is so true! You can’t win. My doctor told me to try feeding peanut butter to my 10 month old (because the most current school of thought is expose them early), and my son broke out in head to toe hives. So after dealing with the initial fright from that, I was shamed by other mothers for feeding my infant peanut butter. At the end of the day, he’s yours and you know best. Good luck with everything!
Erin I love reading your blog!! I am so excited for you! The feeling you will have when you see and hold your sweet boy is like any other you have ever experienced!!!
My one piece advice( after having 4 girls) is to PUSH REALLY REALLY HARD!! MAKE EACH ONE WORK FOR YOU!!! I look forward to seeing and hearing about this new amazing chapter in your life!
Blessings!!
That nursery is fetching! So adorable! So peaceful. If my baby slept there I’d probably move in with him full time. Good on you. Can’t wait to see the rest of it.
Victoria
Erin- As a mom of an eight month old boy never have I had a “job” where everyone (from the porter in my building to the random old lady on the street ) feel so compelled to tell me what I’m doing wrong. Thank you for reminding people how raw new moms are and how difficult it can be! Wishing you a healthy and safe delivery!
Sounds like a good plan. I am so happy for you. Looking forward to the birth announcement.
Erin, here is to a healthy delivery and an amazing time of mommy/baby bonding. Cherish it without the encumbrance of any other obligations – you will be forever changed. You have many in your cheering section who will welcome you back when you are ready.
Hi Erin, This is such an exciting time for you. You and Andrew are going to be wonderful parents. I’m so happy to hear that are able to take some time off and enjoy your new baby boy, The time will go by quickly and I will look forward to hearing from you. All the best!