Golden Globes 2014 Red Carpet Recap

I friggin’ love the Golden Globes. Despite the horrid red carpet coverage (more fashion, less inane questions from Seacrest and Rancic pretty please) it was a fun show to watch. If I could go to one awards show in my lifetime it would be this one (can we make that happen universe? Mmmm, thanks.)  The fashion was a fab balance of AWESOME and HORRID, which is my favesies.  Let’s start with the straight up awesome.

Who didn’t gasp when they saw Lupita Nyong’o in Ralph Lauren. I mean, she SLAYED it so hard in that dress with the simple jewels. I bet half the celebrities asked if they could just come int he back door after she walked the carpet. Amazing.  And Cate Blanchett is such perfection. This dress is just amazing on her.  Here’s the thing, men don’t “get” Cate Blanchett, Andrew doesn’t think she’s pretty, which makes me think I’ve married a severely mentally questionable person.

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Leslie Mann either has amazing style or a seriously awesome stylist. I LOVED her dress, hair and makeup. Gorgeous. And Juliana Margulis was stunning- beyond chic- I loved the silhouette, pattern and her accessories and jewels. Killer.

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Amy Poehler’s dress is just awesome- sexy without being over the top and super modern. Loved this look.  And at first I wasn’t sure about Amy Adams’ dress but then she turned around and I loved it.  I wasn’t 100% on the hair, but she really did look pretty and it’s so nice to see her in color.

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These two. I mean, can we just discuss how awesome they are? Smart, funny as hell, successful AND beautiful??? I think they are two of the best role models in Hollywood for women.

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And I bet these two would have LOVED seeing Elizabeth Moss flip off the stupid Mani Cam on the red carpet. Can we retire that thing please? It’s so stupid and make everyone’s hands look like craggly claws.

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OK, these two are sexy, no doubt. And both these dresses fit to a T.  I’m just kinda over the whole Sofia Vergara “I’m SO sexy” thing. I want to see her in something less booby for once.  And Kate Beckinsale is one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood in my opinion,  but I was so bummed to see she had her upper lip filled giving her that Hollywood duck bill look. :( Sads.

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GAH! These two looked so killer in neutrals- Naomi Watts never, ever ages (Andrew said “Hey Sienna Miller looks good”- ummm) and that dress with the chain neckline and back detail is so chic while Laura Dern suprised me in this drop dead (and perfectly fitting) gown.

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BRADLEY COOPER IS EVERYTHING IN THIS TUX. That is all.

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Olivia Wilde made every bloated, achey-backed pregnant woman groan when she rolled onto the carpet looking SO flipping hot in that green sequin Gucci. I think this is the best red carpet pregnancy look I have ever seen. Stunning. (But can we retire the ombre hair in 2014?)  Amber Heard pulled a page from the Jolie playbook in this slit-to-there gown but she did look like a movie star for sure.

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More nude on blondes, which isn’t typically my favorite (washout) but these two did it well. Margot Robbie became every guy’s new favorite star and looked flawless but I was concerned about the underarm chafing from those jeweled arm holes. Yowzas.  Robin Wright is just such a bad ass in House of Cards and I love this simple look on her. Did not love the hair though.

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Pale champagne was done really well by Lady Mary aka Michelle Dockery (which reminds me I have a recorded Downton to watch).  She always looks SO elegant and classic Hollywood.  I may be the only one who did NOT like Zooey Deschanel’s look. The earrings plus the flower PLUS the beaded shoes on top of the two piece Oscar was all just TOO MUCH for me. With simpler shoes and fewer accessories maybe.

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I yelped a bit when I saw Kerry Washington’s baby bump. So cute.  She usually does no wrong in my eyes but I did not love this Balenciaga. Maybe it was because Olivia Wilde rocked her bump SO HARD, but this was kinda MEH for me.

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This however, was not. (Andrew and I seriously say “Scanal” just like this to each other every time we discuss the show).

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Lena Dunham get’s most improved award after years of horrible looks, but this did not fit her right.  She needed more room in the top for it to fall better on her. She looked so uncomfortable in this dress, but I did like the color and concept.  Emma Watson rocked pants. And I wasn’t crazy about them. I mean, I love the idea of pants on the red carpet (maybe these?), but this ensemble confused me.  I did find out, however, that Andrew has a MAJOR crush on Hermoine. Who knew.

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Do not get me wrong, Reese looks GREAT, but her dress looks a little like it was made by Lululemon. She needed some bigger earrings too with the simple hair and dress.  And Hayden Penetierre somehow made Tom Ford look like a Bebe prom dress. How can you make Tom Ford look cheap? I dunno, but she managed too. That hair was horrid as well.

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Julia left me scratching my head a little. At first glimpse from the shoulders up I thought she was pulling a Sharon Stone, which I loved.  But then I saw it was a dress over a shirt and I was all “YUCK”, especially the blingy belt.  Then I was feeling like on HER it was acceptable. Her hair and makeup was killer, had the belt been black it might have worked better. It’s just a little OFF, I so wish it has been just a skirt!!!!

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Jennifer Lawrence is every girl’s girl crush and I was so bummed to see her is this awful dress that looked like a comforter with two belts wrapped around it. And her makeup was way too much- the dark lip with the smokey eye plus a white dress was not a good look on such a pale little pixie like her!

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But she did this.

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And then said this. I was all “Who cares what she’s wearing?? She was gonna push Taylor Swift down the stairs! YAY!” (Mental high five. I find T Swift quite grating.)

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Oh Sandra. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Sandra and from boobs up I liked her look, but why couldn’t this dress have been one color? I really, really don’t like it. I do like it better than Aubrey Plaza’s purple nightmare though, if that’s possible.  I think I wore this to a middle school dance in the 80′s (and no one asked me to dance either.)

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Does anyone else not understand Kaley Cuoco’s fame?  This dress is AWFUL. Almost as awful as Drew’s which might win the least flattering dress award.

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OMG. We’re getting to the really good stuff. Like Paula Patton and her dress designed by the folks at Charmin. What the hell is this? No seriously, what is this?  Why would someone so pretty wear something so beyond ridiculous??  And then there’s Andy Samberg’s wife who wore this Gone With the Wind bizarro mauve thingy. I feel like this was a joke we weren’t in on.

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Whoever put Emma Stone in this needs to be slapped across the face. Just because something has a Chanel label in it does not make it awesome. This is also something I would have loved to have worn in middle school circa 1988.

 

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And I think the worst dress has to go to Zoe Saldana in this bizarre, ugly, busy mess of a thing. Such a  gorgeous woman with a killer body and of ALL THE DRESSES in the world, this was “the one”. Really?!?!

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What would I have worn? I’m kinda obsessed with this dress by Juan Carlos Obando right now. Modern gold jewelry and simple heels.  Super frou frou? No. But neither am I.

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55 Responses to “Golden Globes 2014 Red Carpet Recap”

  1. Claire says:

    Loved your commentary as always! I share your sentiment for many of the red carpet gowns…it is always fun to read others’ takes on the evening. You always manage to give it a hilarious spin, so thanks for the entertaining read!

    http://kensingtonbliss.blogspot.com/2014/01/golden-globes-2014-red-carpet-review.html

  2. Christine says:

    Erin I love your Red Carpet recaps! So funny and on target! I thought Lena Dunham’s dress was so awful I couldn’t look at her! That color, fit and style did nothing for her!! I really liked Amy Adams’ dress but not on her. The low cut and color seemed to overwhelm her. The hair and makeup seemed to fade against the dress. I thought Juliana’s was one of the best tied with Cate and Lupita’s….the rest were tacky or “been there, done that”.

  3. Beth says:

    Great round up and loved your commentary! Juliana was my favorite. Perfection.
    I was surprised how much I loved Amy Poehler’s dress, usually Stella McCartney doesn’t get it right–that dress was perfect for a 30-40 year old woman. I would feel so good in that dress. Who wouldn’t!?
    Cate can do no wrong in my book, but the neckline on that dress was awkward and looked uncomfortable. It was a beautiful concoction. I loved Helen Mirren’s dress too, it was a lovely cut on her figure and had such pretty beading on a vibrant, unexpected color. She always knocks it out of the park because she owns whatever she wears.
    Your choice was gorgeous.

  4. Tam says:

    Love your recaps!! I read this one too…laughed so hard, I had to close my office door. lol

    http://www.myfavoriteandmybest.com/mfamb-home/2014/1/13/golden-globes-recap

  5. april says:

    My girl crush on you deepens: “Like Paula Patton and her dress designed by the folks at Charmin.”
    Just what I needed to catch up on this Friday in the library! :)