I have never made a political statement on this blog, but after seeing this video this morning and the vote in North Carolina yesterday I feel compelled to do so. This story breaks my heart in it’s complete injustice both by the government as well as by people who are so filled with hatred. To me it makes NO SENSE that Kim Kardashian can make a mockery of marriage and get press and fame for it while a committed couple of many years is not allowed to celebrate their love nor granted the rights associated with such a commitment. And the saddest part is that this story is not unique. This happens to people every day. If my small modicum of influence can change one person’s mind by getting them to watch this video then I will feel I have accomplished something. Please watch.
Elements of Style Blog
live your life beautifully.
Erin Gates
Thank you for posting this and taking a stance! I wept through the video. It amazes me how intolerant, ignorant and cruel people and the society can be. Sometimes I wonder if the the ones who oppose same-sex marriages so adamantly get some sort of sick pleasure out of making other people sad. Our world needs to become more humane. Adults who love each other should be allowed to get married regardless which gender they are.
The situation in Northern Europe, in Finland where I live, is not better at all. Here gay couples can “register” their “partnership” but marriage is out of the question, thanks to the conservatives and the Finnish Lutheran church. As a secular individual I believe that religion should be left out of this discussion, since it obviously only gets the it sidetracked. This is not about the Bible, this is not about offending anyone’s religious beliefs or personal faith – this is about human rights and equality befor the law. Marriage should be for all!
I too wept throughout. Thank you for posting this Erin.
Thanks for posting this. I must admit, I was expecting more vitriol in the comments section for some reason (“this is a design blog, stick to wallpaper, I won’t ever read this blog again etc..”). You have some very articulate and intelligent readers!
The province of Canada I come from was one of the first in the world to legalize gay marriage and many Americans flew up for weddings. It always made me proud that we could just legalize and move on. Some people were opposed but there was not much of the “you will burn in hell” hoopla that seems to be going on in other places. However, none of our Prime Ministers have come out in support of gay marriage (our current one is an absolute embarrassment but that’s another story). So, kudos to your Prez – he’s done many things I don’t agree with but I still feel he’s on some level an ethical man (or trying to be, which is more than most pols I fear).
Things have come so far so fast, this will be a non-issue by the time my young children reach adulthood. They will shake their heads in confusion, wondering what in the world we were thinking outlawing people from marrying each other for no reason but their gender. It’s wonderful to think about.
Thanks again.
Wow! What a powerful video. Thanks for sharing and opening minds. We are all people. We need to treat each other with respect and kindness.
I just wanted to add for Christians (and other religious people) who oppose gay marriage, I respect your right to your view points but America is a democracy not a theocracy and there is supposed to be a clear division of church and state. The views of your church should never impose limitations on the rights of your fellow citizens (some who share your faith but interpret it differently and some who do not). I think this has to be the clear premise of this discussion, otherwise, it turns into the usual swapping of religious quotes and insults.
Oh, my heart just breaks for him. I wish I could snap my fingers and make people see sense. So much pain and suffering for what! I don’t get it. I love being married and I wish it for everyone who wants it. Someday our kids will be so confused by all of this, just like I can’t imagine life before the civil rights movement, it seems like an alien dream…so too will this, at least I hope so with my whole heart.
Great post and bravo!
CAROLYN
May 10, 2012 at 12:01 am
I was born and raised as a catholic, but have studied and learned about other religious beliefs which helped me open my mind and think outside the box a bit. With that said, I can honestly say that raising my children in a time where marriage is viewed as equal between a man & woman, and other same sex couples, would not worry me at ALL. Actually, it would make me much happier! It would save me the trouble of having to explain to my kids WHY the people who have a different sex orientation are not given the same rights as us! And as a result, my children would learn not to discriminate against such individuals….and hey, if they choose to love someone of the same sex, I would accept them and love them all the same because after all, they are my children!!!! And being gay does not mean they should be treated differently!! They are human beings and should be treated as human beings, being given the same rights as any other human being.
Religion should NEVER be involved in deciding marriage rights! Regardless if it’s between a man & a woman of different beliefs (yes, even some opposite-sex couples CANNOT get married under some religions), or same-sex couples! People who love each other and choose to spend the rest of their lives together by entering a marriage should have the right to do so!
Love,
Barbara
A mind is like a parachute . . . it only works when it’s open.
Thank you for posting and sharing! I agree with you and it angers me that people (such as Kim Kardashian as you mentioned) can make a mockery of marriage and that more states will allow you to marry your cousin than a partner of the same sex. Laws in this country should not be based on religious beliefs and definitions.
Although I can appreciate this movie, I still believe that there is always more to these issues than it seems….
Thank you for posting! My heart breaks for him and so many others going through similar things.
Sharing now….!
I’m glad I follow your blog and I am glad you posted it because otherwise I may not have seen it, I have reposted it and shared it with as many people as I can.
My heart physically hurts after watching this.
This is really beautiful. The fact that this is even an issue in today’s world is ridiculous. If anything this post makes me respect you more. Not only do you have impeccable taste but empathy, knowledge and a good head on your shoulders!
I hate to be the insensitive one, but having a family upset with you is no reason to jump off a building and kill yourself. People deal with much more difficult things in their life. Also, living in LA, I highly doubt they struggled with acceptance. The fact that this couple lied about their relationship for five years and expected a family to suddenly accept this man’s lifestyle is a bit naive. If my son lied to me about a relationship, gay or straight, for five years- I would be upset. Not to mention, this is one side of the story and a little selfish, consider the parents who lost a son and are made to look like horrible people. It’s a very sad story and my heart aches for all involved.
Thank you for posting this. I have passed it on to all of my friends and family.
On February 26, 2012, I lost my best friend. His name was James and he was gay. His mother told him it was a choice and she did not like his choice. It was a struggle he had been dealing with since he was 21 and came out. He was 35 when he died. He was mentally and physically broken. He loved everyone but himself, this was left in his final notes before he also “fell” off a building, all 7 stories. I thank you for posting this- I have had a heartbreaking few months. I feel people need to realize that we should love people, no matter what- White, black, gay, straight, etc. Where did the hate come from? I am a straight female and I just don’t get it. Thank you for putting this on your blog- this means more to some people than you might realize. And my mom loves your blog- this was just a forward she sent to me! She reads it every day!
And Suzanne, if I was dating your son, I would probably not be too excited to meet you right away with your close minded ways. Ouch- people like you….
I’m not a religious person, and from that perspective I see that the people spewing the most hate are those who believe certain things out of fear or ignorance. I’m reminded of the song many of us were taught as children: “Jesus loves the children of the world.” Sexual orientation is not mentioned, of course, but race is. No matter one’s background, I don’t understand how someone could view another as less equal or less deserving of love.
It’s devastating that Tom took his life because of his discomfort with his situation, and it’s devastating that his partner was unable to grieve the way he needed to grieve because of some people who obviously didn’t love Tom like they might think they do.
Thanks for spreading the love, Erin!