Million Dollar Decorators: The Drinking Game

While at first I was simply horrified by Million Dollar Decorators, each week I am enjoying it more and more. And the people that irked me the most (Mary and Ross) and currently my favorites! Such is the story of my hypocritical life. So I was thinking, it is the PERFECT show to create a good ol’ fashioned drinking game around!  So here we go, break out the pinot grigio and let’s try this next week, shall we?

You must take a drink when….

-Martyn name drops or says the word “delicious”.

– Kathryn mentions her boobs -two sips if she mentions their size (the DOUBLE D’s people!)

– Mary ignores her client’s budgets completely.

-Nathan comes on screen for 2.5 seconds and is adorable and then DISAPPEARS FOR THE REST OF THE SHOW.

-Ross puts his hands through his hair.

Deondra/Diondra Demetra/ Dimitra come on the screen (two sips if you cannot correctly identify if it’s #1 or #2).

-Jeffrey acts in such a way (extreme mini sink, $8k bathtub in a gym locker room) that makes you wonder how he got this big.

-Jacqueline appears on screen.

-Martyn sucks in his cheeks.

Wait, if we do this we’ll all be completely plastered halfway through the show! Ehhhhh, c’est la vie!


  1. Great idea! In complete agreement, the episode this week had more design, all the players appeared softer and more charming. I like Mary, is the assistant there for the show only because why would a talented designer need someone questioning their ideas all the time? Really missed Nathan Turner who seems like a lovely guy. Also should take a drink when Martyn reveals the cost of the clients home to the camera in front of the client(they edit it to look like the client is pleased when he says it( Joe Francis and Tamara Mellon). I do not enjoy seeing the Factor lady who s working with Kathryn, good for television but annoying as hell. Can’t wait to see what Kathryn does for the beach house in Malibu.

  2. This game is awesome, lol! I will admit this show is a guilty pleasure of mine, but I will say that I was a bit dissapointed to see how these designers act. Nathan is my favorite, but they never show him :(

  3. I’m totally hooked. It’s my new crack. And lets be real, I like to pretend the homes featured are MINE, ALLLLLLL MINE. oh, and then its over and back to reality. Wait, wheres my estate in mexico?

  4. SO RIGHT ON! Glad you had a change of heart because I am obsessed! Mary is fantastically random (listening ot her dead mother? lol) which I think makes her holier than thou vibe so much more tolerable, and maybe even endearing? Yeah, that might be a reach. Her confidence is just so infectious, it inspires me to more decisive! And get bigger jewelry.

  5. YAY! This is incredible. I might play tonight with old DVR-ed episodes. Looking forward to next week! Better not schedule any early morning client appointments, because you’re right, this is a recipe for disaster! Joanna

  6. hahaha omg no i cant wait for next week, I am hoping Martyn makes another one of this famous analogies:

    “Its a $30 Million Home with a $5 dead orchid”

    “Its a $5000 shoe in a 10cent box”

    I hate that he cracks me up.

  7. This show is my new crack!!! They’re all so over the top crazy/eccentric!!

    Here’s another to add to the drinking game. Every time Martyn mentions his clients’ first and last names, just in case we’ve forgotten. Tamara Melon, Tamara Melon, Tamara Melon, Jimmy Choo, Jimmy Choo, Jimmy Choo, Sharon Osborne, Sharon Osborne, Sharon Osborne.


  8. What a great idea! I wish they would show more of Nathan because he is just too cute. And, I desperately want to be invited to Kathryn’s birthday party next year :)

  9. Very funny, and I think the two assistants to Jeffery are Demitra and Dimetra (i think that’s how they spell the names). I have to say that those designers are really full of themselves. I wish Nathan would be on more, too & I get such a kick out of Kathryn. Mary really grates on my nerves. All in all, a very entertaining show for us “common folk”

  10. Great drinking game!! When I first saw the show, I had already read your initial review and completely agreed. I kept watching, though, and now I’m obsessed! So many things these crazy people say and do make me laugh. My fiance is now imitating Martyn and it’s hilarious!

  11. so glad you’ve come around……and admitted you like this show too!!! It’s like a train wreck…..cannot stop watching…….cannot…… Oh, and the drinking game is a super idea!!!! I’ve been on vacation and have three episodes ready to watch on DVR!!!

  12. Guess I will clear my Thursday schedule, but this sound fun.
    They are all growing on me too, but a little less drama wouldn’t hurt.
    I’m addicted.

  13. Everyone is going to be hammmmered… Erin your hilarious! I started watching after I saw your post and now I’m hooked. I love Mary!

  14. Yes, me tooooo!! Had such a strong reaction (negative!) to the first episode, but am now totally hooked and starting to see some of them in a slightly (~slightly~) different light. Bring on the booze!

  15. Wait, I thought the “twin” assistants were Demetrias? I keep thinking while watching the show that I hope their clients don’t have TV’s and don’t have anyone recording the show for them because the decorators say a lot of not so nice things about their clients. That could not be good for business, if nothing else.
    And even though Kathryn Ireland seems mellower than many of the others she seems to be showing up late for appointments, acting as if nothing happened. That would make me so mad if I was her client. It drives me crazy no matter who does it. I won’t even get started on the others :)

  16. LOVE this! Totally agree. I hated them too, but now they’ve grown on me. Now I think Mary’s a hoot (it helps that she’s always right, which puts her arrogant, ignore/manage the client in its proper perspective. If she weren’t such a pill, she wouldn’t be so successful and have such a clearly identifiable design aesthetic). I also just love Kathryn — love her textiles and her incredible patience with Ms. Factor, whom I would have thrown out a window by now (which explains why I confine my interior decorating to my own home!). The others amuse me in various ways (and Nathan is a doll). Plus I love seeing the homes. I’m hooked despite myself!

  17. Well, hey, great drinking game, but think we should have a toast each time, like “here’s MDD in your eye” -seriously, wanted to make a teeny correction to this hilarious blog – those women you identified as Demetras are in fact Nathan’s assistants, his design director, Carrie, and her assistant, Charity. They both know how to bake a tart at the correct oven temp. The pix was snapped at Mary’s Book Party that Nathan hosted at his shop (you will soon be able to drink a lot more when you look for it on the show). The reason you wouldn’t know they were Nathan’s assistants is that he is BARELY visible in this episodes even though he has a world-class design store, a portfolio of famous clients, and knows how to cook like a master chef. If you want to see more of him, check out the Pottery Barn website, because he films videos for them and also appears, from time to time, on The Today Show (HULU). His India Party is rumored to be shown soon on MDD, but then ,that’s just a rumor.

  18. Great game idea but I would be smashed by the 30 minute mark! I might make two additions/changes as well

    1. When Mary says that clients don’t know what they want but she does (like blowing the budget but a bit more insulting)
    2. If you can understand what Jacqueline is saying (I have no idea!)

  19. Wait…I don’t think my wine will last til the end of the show if I follow these rules–might need two bottles…or five! LOL. I, too, was skepto at first, but now in love love love with the show!

  20. Agreed! I hated everyone the first week (but of course set up the season recording!) but now I look so forward to it! Though Mary still has not grown on me….

  21. Oh My Gosh I had such a laugh at this post. I too thought this show was slightly horrifying but it grows on you. I do wonder how these decorators have made it so big, so condescending and arrogant hehe!

  22. Sounds like a fantastic idea! We are all gonna get schnockered! I still can’t get over their attitudes (Especially Mary’s), but I am loving the eye candy. I do wonder what the clients will think when they see the episodes?

  23. I have loved the show from the get go. Then again, Bravo is my guilty pleasure. Not really sure what that says about me, but I’m pretty sure it is some part of my demented psyche. Glad you have come around to the dark side, even if it is just for this show. Watching Kathryn w her client is hi lar ious! Watching Mary’s end result is total eye candy. Realizing Martyn is a real person and not a caricature is mind boggling. My mouth hangs open the entire time he is on screen.
    What I love is that they all get along and appear to be geniune friends. In this business that is quite unusual. I love that the crap hits the fan, like it does in the real world of interior design. Love that they show PITA clients, and the price Kathryn is willing to pay for the $$$ to deal with her.
    Love the drinking game but I think most would be plastered after 15 minutes. The person who mentioned shots needs to have an ambulance close by.

  24. I LOOOOVE this show….decorating and crazy, eccentric people! What else could you want in your TV entertainment?! Kathryn and her French cook and Martyn are hilarious! They are all super talented and fun to watch. I’ll drink to that!

  25. too funny..when Mary makes a point -she follows her words using her hands -like she is directing her own personal orchestra.-i want to scream and then cry. Drinking would def help. Thanks for the great idea!

  26. SERIOUSLY, why are they showing only a minute of Nathan?! I agree, he is totally adorable and needs more air time. Great idea on the drinking game. Of course, these people are totally crazy and could not have acted that way in real life to get where they are, but this is the Bravo network, and the show wouldn’t be as sucessful as it is if it weren’t hilariously entertaining and over-the-top!

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