My brain is too full of real life to ponder the fabulousness of a armchair today, so I hope you don’t mind if I take this chance to just brain dump on you. This has been a crazy month and it just was made a million times more insane by the fact that we plan to accept an offer on our condo tonight-an offer that if it comes to fruition will mean I have to find a place to live by April 15th. True to form, this massive change has caused me to panic. Historically I’ve never been good with risk and change, the mere thought of unplanned and unexpected activity practically giving me hives. I’ve lead a careful life, every move thought over a hundred times and then pondered some more before ever taking action. I’ve made decisions because others important to me told me they were the right decisions. I’ve stayed in bad relationships, bad jobs and bad situations longer than tolerable simply because the idea of change paralyzed me so. But in the past two years I’ve slowly been unraveling that cloak of cautiousness by tugging on each tightly woven thread of security with new found courage. It’s been both immensely gratifying and totally scary at the same time- and this moment right now might be the most intense yet.
We bought this condo on impulse, which of course was hard for me. But I fell in love with it and the life that could fill it’s walls, and as we all know real estate needs to be a mix of emotion and smarts, not 110% heart. I tend to be the type who falls in love every day, full of emotion and passion but sometimes a bit lacking in balance. So we signed away on this home with a future life full of babies and wild financial success in mind. How things have changed. While financially we are pretty stable and my business has had unexpected and wild success, the baby question remains exactly that- a question. Empty guest bedrooms that echo of “you’re 30, you should have a baby” leave me rattled because frankly, I don’t want one right now. I want one, someday in the not too distant future, but right now I’m not ready. And selling this condo and moving into a smaller rental makes that decision audible to the whole world, which feels a bit like raising a white flag and surrendering my perfectly timed plan of “married by 26 (check), baby by 30 (…)” I know, I have time, I’m only 30, but I can’t help but feel I’m letting people down by not feeling the hormonal frenzy of motherhood pulsing through my veins. Instead I feel the burning wish to travel, write, explore, work hard and take the time to straighten out exactly what it is I want and need, as selfish as that may be. I like to think by turning keen focus inward on myself it will make me a better mother someday down the road.
But it does feel a bit like taking two steps backward. Surrendering the baby plan and going from owning to renting- even though I know it’s only temporary until we find a house to renovate and live in for a very long time (no more of this buy and sell in under three years business we’ve been doing)- feels a bit like trying to switch from drive to reverse while still moving. Of course after wanting nothing more than to sell, now that it might have happened, I walk around these rooms thinking about how lovely it is, how the light filters through the windows just right and how much I’ll miss it instead of recalling that burning need to move on I felt so keenly not two weeks ago. Classic “me”. I need to instead focus on this as an adventure, something I have not had enough of in my thirty years. The ability to move into the city and experience life full of convenience and bustling energy. A chance to breathe, think and be without the weight of a mortgage. Freedom, in a way, to know that I can do whatever I want next without being tied down. There is so much fullness to my life right now- opening an office, exciting business ventures developing , wonderful new friends to enjoy, trips to plan, moving…. possibilities seem to crowd each morning I wake up and it’s both terrifying and delightful at the same time. It’s not a time to make concrete decisions, it’s a time to explore, investigate and touch, taste and feel everything I can so that when I am ready to settle down a bit more and dig in with solid roots I will be comforted and content with the experiences I have had. But that doesn’t mean that in this moment, as my life begins to change dramatically, I am not sitting here scared as hell. It doesn’t mean that I don’t get totally frustrated with my inner monologue and would kindly tell it to shut up if I could. It also doesn’t mean that sometimes I wish I wanted something simpler, easier and typical. But I don’t.
I’ve been reading a lot of Paulo Coelho quotes recently, all of which sing to me on a huge level, so I figured I’d close by sharing them, hoping that if even only two of you are feeling the way I am it’ll give you a little courage to continue questioning everything:
“Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she won’t suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when the person looks back-she will hear her heart”
“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.”
“You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.”
“Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn’t have the courage to say “yes” to life?”
Thanks for listening,
E
Erin – change IS scary, but stay strong. Don’t let anyone (even your inner voice) convince you to have a baby until you are ready. Enjoy your 30s without guilt. You will know when you find you forever house – until then, it’s just real estate! Sell and move on – there is another adventure around the corner! Cheers!
Something tells me you will just know what’s right. Seems like you’ve been afraid of change before but perhaps that was all before you had the right person by your side – that can make all the difference. And I will warn you, the minute I decided that we should rent a place in the city, travel, live life – I unexpectedly (and somewhat impossibly!) became pregnant. Best decision ever made for me… :) Good luck!
What an exciting time for you Erin. It is so good to push yourself right outside of your comfort zone every now and then. Don’t worry about your baby questions, they will answer themselves with the time is right. I didn’t start a family until I was almost 40, for the same reasons. I was starting and loving my own business, I wanted to travel, my husband and I just wanted to be together. Now we have a wonderful son, I still own my business and we still travel all over the world, all three of us. It could NOT have worked out any better. The best thing about that paralyzing fear you are feeling…how you feel after you realize you are through it, that you made it, you did it! Good Luck.
So many of us out here feel the way you do. I will be 26 this week and more than half of my friends are either trying to become pregnant, are pregnant or have a child. My husband and I currently have no desire to have a child right now, but plan to start a family sometime in the future. I, like you, are placing my dreams before starting a family. So goodluck to you and all of your upcoming ‘changes’, we are all rooting for your success!
It is so refreshing to hear that someone else my age feels the same way! I am surrounded by wonderful friends who cannot wait to get pregnant or are already with children. I have not felt the need to scratch that itch yet, and instead want to travel, learn new things, and experience different ways of life. Bravo for you own self recognition of this fact, and for the beautiful way you articulated it!
Wow, Erin! Its like you read my mind. I feel the exact same way.
I think its a sign of the times for young women (and men, for that matter). For one, we have to wait A LOT longer than our parents’ generation to move into our own perfect Turkey Hills. Unfortunately, that means more than one starter home and in some cases, because we young people are moving from city to city constantly (more because of the recession), from starter homes to rentals properties. No matter how you frame it, emotionally, a move like that makes you feel like you are moving backwards.
As a former real estate attorney, I know first hand I how stressful this can all be….I too hate change, and moving ranks high on the list of life stress for everyone. However, in this economy, an offer to buy is news to celebrate. For what its worth, my husband and I lived in no less than 5 different apartments, before we settled into our “dream home”. Good Luck!
Sue
Thanks for sharing. I think a lot of people can relate to your hesitance for change—it is something that I struggle with on a daily basis. I am about to embark on a big change and while I am half scared to death I know deep down that everything will be alright. Even if I fail miserably at least I will know that I tried! Good luck to you on your new adventures!
Erin- I totally feel your pain. Although I am just starting my career/marriage, I really think your 20s and early 30s can be great, but are generally full of a lot of anxiety while you gain confidence in following your own heart and your own plan and trying to distance yourself from the expectations of others. I am constantly second guessing if what I am doing is “right”, but I have come to realize that those questions come up not so much because of my own doubt in my choices but in how they will be perceived. But you are right, which I suspect you already know: Babies deserve all of what you have to give, and if it isn’t time, well then it isn’t time. You will be a better mother if you wait until you are truly ready. And all of us who love your blog and by extension, you, know you will be a wonderful mother whenever it is you decide!
PLUS, selfishly, if you start posting on all things baby then my maternal clock which has inexplicably started ringing off the hook at the ripe old age of 24 may just become unbearably deafening.
Erin, this is such a wonderful, moving post. I feel there’s so much to say in response – way too much to leave in a comment. Let’s get together soon over a nice bottle of wine. Lots of change going on, that’s for sure!
Absolutely love the Coehlo quotes , by the way. He’s one of my absolute favorites.
Hang in there! Everything is going to be amazing!
xoxo
Angela
Erin you are so lucky to have this business that you have started and is becoming so successful and to have it be something you love so much is just amazing! I’m in my mid 20′s and married and although the pressure isn’t great yet, most people expect us to be having babies seeing as we both have jobs, are married, and have a home. But I’m the same way in that I have so many other interests right now and know I am not ready for a baby. You are young and still have plenty of time in your future to worry about having babies. Take advantage of the opportunities you have right now!
From the pictures you’ve shared with us I can tell that you have a beautiful and well cared for place. The new owners will be incredibly lucky.
I too worry about the renting vs. owning dilemna but I can tell you that it is much better to rent a place you like then own a place you like, and not LOVE. Timing is everything… children, career, home ownership, etc.
Thanks for sharing your journey with us. :)
Congrats on the condo offer! When we moved out of the South End, it was a tough adjustment even though I was desperate to have a bigger place and not have to fight for parking. I still miss being in the middle of everything – walking to great restaurants and around the city on a gorgeous day, being so close to so many fab stores…. Even though it’s only a short T ride away, downtown seems so far! Good luck finding a new place!
You have a desire to be in the city and renting is the BEST way to try it out. You can put your money in the bank, enjoy city life as a young couple, and when the time is right to buy your next place it may be Boston, it may be the suburbs and it may or may not be with a baby. You are not going backwards. On the contrary, since following your blog after the Globe Magazine piece in 09, I sense you are taking off fast. Wouldn’t it be fun to decorate a city place? Perhaps a blog or two on deorating rentals? Anyway, aren’t you opening an office in the South End? A rental sounds like one less thing to worry about right now……Enjoy!
Erin,
I was reading your words, and then seemed to mimic every thought I had this past weekend. I am almost 30 and just getting to where I want to be in my career. We are looking for a bigger house that will one day fit kids, and I swear everyone around me is preggo, with either their first or (eek!) second child. I was feeling way behind the game…. but like you, I am not quite ready. My mom said that I should feel some sort of accomplishment with my childless self before haviung kids because it will make me realize what I sacrificed for them when they do come into the picture. And also, someday, show them what I did accomplish. I hope to have the best of both worlds, a career and kids, but, like you… I’m not ready for both, or having to pick one. Good luck with your house offer (so exciting!) and best wishes for these next couple of months! I can’t wait to hear all about it on your blog.
What you are going through right now is exactly what I am going through. I am taking huge chances in my life, some have not been the best of choices but I’m glad I did it. As for the baby issue…don’t worry yourself over it and don’t let people make you feel bad that you’re 30 and have no children. When you’re ready for that step in life you will know.
Oh Erin, I am right there with you! First of all, congrats on selling your condo! I too know what it feels like when everyone thinks it’s the right time for you to have a baby. All of your friends have had babies, yada yada. However, the desire to see the world and experience new things is a little greater for me right now. As much as I would love a baby, like you said, “in the not too distant future”, I want to enjoy being 28 and just having it be Fabian and I. I think to myself, yes, my friends have started families, but none of them have travelled or experienced some of the things that I have. That to me, is priceless and I know it would be so much harder to do after having children. I say enjoy this time while you can. You are still so young! Everything will work out. xoxo
From what I’ve read, it sounds like you’ve got a great support system in place (husband, family, friends) so you’ve got people to lean on during stressful times–and moving IS stressful! Try to think about how exciting a new design project will be once you move, it helped me a few months ago when I moved. As for the kid thing, I’m 34 and I’m pretty sure someone forgot to put the batteries in my biological clock. Thank the Lord my sisters have already given my parents grandkids!
Go for it! Change is good is what I always say. How boring would it be if we did exactly what everyone else does and stayed in the same spot forever. Never changing is what sounds terrifying. I can’t imagine getting to the end of life and discovering I lived int he same place forever and did the same thing every day. We should change, grow, experience life . . . Of course that is easier said than done, but good rewards come with risks. My hubby and I move OFTEN, every 1-2 years often. We tend to think of real estate as a business, not that I don’t fall in love with each house and put my heart into remodeling and decorating it. And I always get bummed when the time comes to sign the Purchase Agreement and let someone else have it; but I get over it quickly when I get the check and have a chance to dream of what I’m going to do to the next place. That said, moving is not fun and we don’t plan on doing this forever. And we’ve actually started buying 2 houses at a time. But we figure with no children yet, now is the time to do it if we want. And I’ve gotten to live in so many different types of homes (modern loft, traditional colonial, red brick mcmansion, etc) it’s been a blast to go completely different directions with decor choices and I’ve often surprised myself with liking what I never thought I would.
As far as babies go, I’m with ya. I’m 35 and every year we discuss whether we’re ready. We finally are. But until now, every year I considered getting pregnant because everyone else thought I should be ready. Crazy. Maybe its because I finally can’t put it off much longer, but for the first time I feel ready and truly excited for a baby to join us. I understand how life changing it is going to be. I think a lot of people tend to think it’s going to be like a fairy tale and it will be . . . and it won’t be. But nothing will change your life more than a baby, do it when you are ready.
Until then . . . have fun, risk, change, travel, dream, explore! You obviously have been doing something right since it seems to me that everything you touch is fabulous, so trust your gut!
Thanks for sharing……so well written; such a talent you have with putting your thoughts into words. I think we have a lot in common with the decisions. It seems like I ponder everything even after I’ve made a decision I often wonder was that right?
I say keep living your life like you are….I understand what you mean about the baby whispers….I had my first child when I was 32. I can’t imagine having one earlier because I wasn’t “ready”. My daughter was actually a ‘surprise’ and if not I dont know if I would’ve ever taken the plunge. She is the best thing that ever happened to me though. I know that sounds cliche but it’s true. The way I look at it, life is like a pie and having children is just a piece of that…..if you dont ever experience it you are missing one of the best pieces, but still having a great pie:) I know that seems all ‘forrest gump’…..see what I mean about expressing my thoughts? Not good.
Congrats on selling your condo. I can’t wait to see your new house and all the fabulous things you do to it!
Wow Erin~ you certainly have a lot on your plate. From a 40 year old mother of a 5 year old and a full time professional AND a renter~ I’m thinking about you. Sounds like you’re in the right place and you’re doing the right thing.
Hugs~
T
Hi Erin. I’ve been reading your wonderful blog for almost a year, but this is the first time I’ve felt moved to overcome my nervousness about leaving a comment (see, there’s my own fear of change manifesting itself!).
A year ago I was 29, a corporate attorney, and surrounded by colleagues who were getting pregnant. I decided to leave my practice and follow my love of design, figuring that if I was going to take this chance, it would be best to do it before I had children. It was the scariest decision I’ve ever made, but a year later I’m happier than I have ever been and I wouldn’t have it any other way. (I just did a lot of yoga to help me get through the hard times. . . )
Kudos to you for building your business, exploring the world, and most of all, being courageous enough to give yourself what you need. You will make a fabulous home for your children when the time is right, and they will be lucky to have such a smart, well-traveled, true-to-herself mom!
I hear you on the change thing. I am not good with it either. You are plenty young to have kids. Children are wonderful but you want to be ready for them. I had my son at 33 and that was a great age for me. You won’t regret doing what you want to do first. Good luck with everything!
Hi Erin,
I’ve never commented before, but read daily and love your blog. Your style’s impeccable, but you know that already ;) Anyway, I just wanted to applaud this brave, thoughtful post – although I’m in a very different place, the way you laid out the balancing act you’re going through is so honest, I just wanted to tell you how much it spoke to me. Best best best of luck to you, and I wish you some mental peace.
Best thing you have ever written. Seems like you biggest support group is right here on this blog. See…you are not weird or irrational…quite the opposite. Everyone is scared of big changes (well…alomst everyone) and most look back and second guess decisions. Don’t feel bad that you feel bad, just allow yourself to feel bad…until I get home and can give you a big hug, rub your head, and tell you how everything is going to be okay.
I’m jealous of you. I love change but now that I have kids we can’t move anymore. We lived in 3 places before we had kids, and we were only married 2 years before we had our first!
First, I love that your husband left a comment on your blog!
Second, I can totally empathize with your need to “be selfish” before having a child. I am almost 32 and have yet to feel that itch to have a baby. My husband and I are starting to see success in careers and frankly we want to enjoy it a bit before that drastic life change. And I too believe that it will make me a better mother. The last thing I ever want to do is harbor any resentment toward a child because of the things I wasn’t able to do.
And as for the change, it sounds like the past two years have been great year for you and a lot of that comes from opening yourself up to change. With the support you have, this will all continue to bring great things!
Congrats on getting the condo sold — it’s a tough market and that’s definitely an achievement. I sold our first home last year (also a condo) and it was definitely a mixed bag for me. I was excited to move into a house, excited to start a new stage of my life, but I definitely still miss the old place every now and then. And that whole moving process was such a huge pain in the neck!
And as for babies…Dave and I have been married nearly 4 years ourselves and no baby plans yet. We got married young (25) and I always assumed we’d have a kid by 30, but as we both turn 29 this spring, that’s looking less and less likely. But that’s OKAY! We have to live on our own schedules and do what makes us happy. I know it’s hard to ignore your parents’ desire for kids, your friends incessant questions (and the even louder silence when the questions stop and they give up on you) but you DO have a ton of time. Just enjoy the process of moving on to your new home, setting up your business, etc. Kids will follow when you’re ready.
Wow. Thanks for sharing your honest feelings with us! Like some have said, I read your blog every day and have never posted, but I so appreciate your honesty. And just know that you aren’t the only one who feels like that! It’s easy to get caught up in feeling left behind or just left out, but remember that it’s your life and only you know what’s best for you! Sounds like you’ve made some fantastic decisions in the past, and there’s no reason with the support of your loving husband (loved his comment!) and friends and family that you won’t continue to make the most of your life!
Erin,
Change is hard, I am going through something similar and your post has just made me feel like I am not alone. Thank you and I do hope you realize that everything will be okay. Just give it time…
Erin, I love the quotes! Fear is a good and necessary part of life and you should listen to it carefully but learn to put it aside when you need to be fearless in making the tough choices. It sounds like you are learning to do just that. Life is about taking risks and accepting that while you may be taking a path that may include risk, you are making the right decision. I’ve had to make many life changing decisions and for the most part when I have put aside the fear and looked at the situation rationally the risky path has always been the most productive and fulfilling for me.
I am sure that you will be happy with your choices. Life is too short for regrets!
Coming from someone who spent over a year renovating a house to find herself ceremoniously pregnant in the midst of it and then selling said house and renting until the prefect new house comes along, I feel your pain. Change is hard and it is totally a lot to swallow to go backward to being a renter – from a house to an apartment. But it’s been amazing. You get to put homeowner worries on the back burner – allowing time and $$ to go to other things – this may be the perfect time to do the traveling you want to do.
As for babydom – it’s not a race, even though society makes you feel otherwise. I will be 30 in a week and have a 6 month old. I was never one of those people that had a plan. Never had an age that I wanted to do anything by – I’m a little more impulsive in my choices. And to be honest, if I hadn’t gotten pregnant unplanned – who knows when I would have been ready to pull the trigger to officially start – and we had been married 5 years! Sometimes the greatest things in your life are not the things you plan for but the things that sneak up on you and take you completely by surprise. I think this change will be a wonderful thing for you and an opportunity to dedicate the time to your new ventures. All these experiences will make you a better mom if that not so distant future you speak of.
Good luck!
Erin – Huge pat on the back to you for sharing such feelings with your blog-friends and articulating yourself so well. Change is a good and scary thing, and you cannot let other people shape your own life…you just have to listen to yourself and make the decisions that feel good for you! Doesn’t it feel so much better to be yourself than to be “normal”? My grandmother always used to tell me that, and it’s so true! Congratulations on selling your house and taking this new, fun, exciting, and real adventure! (PS – your husband’s comments are so sweet!)
First- the baby thing. Don’t ever feel pressured and don’t ever feel “selfish” for waiting and focusing on you…it’s not selfish, it’s smart! I’ve been wrestling with this same thing for years (I’m 33) as all of my older and some younger friends have started families. Therapist says this is the internal struggle in women of our age, so take comfort in knowing it’s a universal question and you’ll know when you’re ready. PLUS, if you’re business is going well, that’s a lot to focus on. And renting can be really smart- it gives you a lot more flexibility. This could be the perfect thing…you might not know it til later. None of the things you are fearing or sweating right now can kill you, so go for it! There’s nothing to lose, and opportunities to gain!
thank you for sharing. I’ve been feeling the same way and thinking the same thoughts. It is comforting to know that others are going through the same sh*t. You’re brave for putting yourself and your thoughts/feelings out here like this and I really appreciate it!
Like many of the commenters before me, I’m around thirty and not ready for kids yet despite that fact that nearly all my friends have them. I want that decision to be deliberate and with full knowledge of the commitment I’m making and what I give up in becoming a parent. Many of the people around me have kids because that’s what next on the list, because that’s just what people do, or because they don’t want to be old when their kids go to college. I don’t really get it. I mean I know you love the baby when it comes, and I think babies are cute and nice, but I don’t feel a driving need to have one, and I feel like if I were to have one now that it would be for the wrong reasons (like to have someone to take care of me when I’m old). Isn’t that horrible?
My hub and I are happy where we are, and I feel like a baby would ruin the good life we have together now. I hear these new mothers saying how they don’t have sex with their spouse any more, that they don’t spend time just the two of them, that they’re always exhausted, that they’re stressed financially. that the baby cries for hours at a time, that their bodies are all different… and if I’m honest, every bit of that terrifies me. I wonder how a person decides, “Okay, now I’m ready. Now, I’ve done all the ambitious things I wanted to do, and now I’m ready to sacrifice these for a baby.” I wonder if I’ll ever come to a point when I can make that decision.
Maybe I’ll just accidentally get pregnant and then I won’t have to worry about it. ;)
All this to say, that you are not at all the only 30-something out there to struggle with baby conflicts and forging a unique path that’s right for you.
There’s no perfect time for children – when you’re ready, it won’t be because the “timeline” is right, it’ll be because you are willing to accept and relish the distinct lack of order and perfection in your daily life that children provide. You know yourself, and there’s no need to apologize to anyone for what you desire.
Thank you for sharing. I think we all feel this way at some point in our lives — we look around, and see what everyone else THINKS we should be doing, and grapple with trying to reconcile that pressure against what we truly want. I say do what makes you happy in life. This is YOUR life, and YOUR journey. You don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself for the way you feel. Remember, your heart’s desires exist for a reason.
Erin, I have faced similar situations as you have, but in my case unfortunately I have made the wrong(too impulsive) decisions. I waited too long on the baby decision, and now we don’t have any children. Truly, it is my only real regret in life. It’s the only one I can’t change. I”m 60 now and life hasn’t always been easy for me, but fortunately I have the love of an amazing man to hold my hand though all of it. I wish you the best!!!
i am going through what feels like a life altering real estate dilemma myself. like you, i wish things could be simpler for me, but this is not the reality. some of us were just built this way – always in our heads- it feels like a curse sometimes.
also, i had a baby 5 weeks before i turned thirty. it’s wonderful, but IT IS HARD- you may have made decisions for others in the past (i often do this too), but this is not one you can make for anyone (including your husband, though he sounds totally supportive) but yourself. it isn’t something to rush if you’re not feeling ready. and, there is nothing wrong with not feeling ready. i admire your ambitions and desires and hope you will feel confident about your choice not to have a baby just yet. Good luck with it all…
While the logistics are a bit different in my life, I 100% feel you on this. Thanks for sharing…
You will know when it is right. I waited to have my first at 42. I had lived, owned a business, and played and was ready. Children change every aspect of your life, I needed to know I could devote the time to them. I will never regret waiting.
Erin! change is always scary but it’s necessary in order for us to grow. We need it, without it, we are nothing, we get stuck in the same place. You are living a very exciting moment and I am sure you will embrace it… about the baby plans, don’t feel guilty for wanting to wait and do other things, it is ok, you want to see the world and you should!! go out there and have some fun!.
In my experience, you are never really ready for a baby anyway, I am a mom of a 4 year old and still learn something new about motherhood everyday… but you do what feels right :)
x
oh my god travel! the previous commenter is right – you will never feel ready for a baby. but 30 is no mandate to settle down. i love my baby but let’s be honest – i envy the freedom you have right now. not just the freedom to do things without a baby but also the freedom to do things without a mortgage! who knows if you ever get the freedom/travel/footloose thing out of your system, i don’t believe it works that way because i think it’s inherent in some peoples’ personalities. BUT – don’t put too much pressure on yourself to check off lists. i just started reading ‘the happiness project’ and i think it’s going to help me with some of the same struggles. good luck! you’re fabulous!
Partying this weekend with me in LA will make everything better…xo
Erin- Children are an incredibly wonderful thing. Mine make me smile every single day. But I truely believe they’re even better when you’ve lived a rich, “selfish,” adventerous life before having them. You’re a better mom with the experiences you can share. And you’re a little saner as your life becomes consumed by your kids. My husband and I reminisce about our wild adventures during our 20′s and early 30′s, feel grateful for the fantasic kids we have, and fantasize about the day they’ll head off to college and we can be impulsive and carefree again. As my mom always says, “There’s plenty of time for everything even though it doesn’t always feel like it.”
ok, seriously, I think we’re the same person. I might as well have written this myself. Although I think you have impeccable style and taste and your posts are great, I equally appreciate the posts where you share your thoughts on life. Actually, I might like them even more!
Thanks for sharing!
*E
I know exactly how you feel. As far as the child situation. I feel the same way as you, and really all the people want around you is for you to be happy and make the best decisions for you. Whats the rush really? I mean will it really matter whether you have a child at 30 or 33 or 35? do you feel that different at 30 than you did at 27? Give yourself a break!!
As far as your home, its amazing that you love it so much and have fond memories of it. You will miss it but just think how much you’ll love your new home! It will speak to you in a different but equally amazing way! Plus you have your hubby and your dogs, thats really all you need ;)
Change is scary but your strong!! I know happiness is in your future!
I can’t even begin to tell you how I empathize with you. I’m 29, I was married for three years and I’m recently going through I divorce. Having the courage to leave my husband, to leave a planned and perfect life was a very very hard decision. Understanding that at this age (which is young, but not THAT young), I was going to have to start allover. Talk about going in REVERSE….I toothink about children and I’m not ready either. I think that’s ok. Don’t worry about others, worry about yourself and what you’re feeling. You’ll see, everyhting is going to work out when and how it’s supposed to.
Thanks for your post and the quotes. I’ve shared the same feelings and deal with similar stresses – both good and bad. I can totally relate. Best of luck to you!